Newcastle's BEST Kept Secret? This Village Hotel Will SHOCK You!
Newcastle's BEST Kept Secret? Village Hotel… Hold My Geordie Lager!
Okay, so I took the bait. "Village Hotel Will SHOCK You!" screamed the headline. And frankly, after a few days dodging seagulls and queuing for a Greggs in Newcastle, I was ready for a shock. Let's dive in, shall we? Because honestly, this review might get a bit chaotic… just like my brain after a plate of stottie cake.
Accessibility:
Right, first things first. Accessibility – crucial. This is a big one, and Village Hotels generally do a decent job. I didn't personally scrutinize every inch with a wheelchair, but the information online suggests they're pretty good. They offer facilities for disabled guests, which is always a good starting point. Elevator access is a given (thank goodness!), and it’s good to know they offer accessible restaurants/lounges. Definitely check their website or call ahead to confirm specific room/facility details if you need them, but the bones seem solid. And hey, Car park [free of charge] too – always a bonus when you're lugging suitcases! They also advertise Airport transfer but I'm going to assume that's not an integral part of staying at the hotel as it is right next to the airport.
(And speaking of baggage…why is it always too heavy?)
Cleanliness and Safety: The Fortress of Hygiene (Hopefully!)
Okay, post-pandemic, this is THE BIG ONE, right? Is it clean? Is it safe? Well… here's what I noticed. They're trying. Big time. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and staff trained in safety protocol are all good signs. They also offer room sanitization opt-out available, which is a thoughtful touch. I saw hand sanitizer stations everywhere, and felt reasonably at ease. Again, it's not a sterile lab (thankfully – I don't do well in sterile labs), but it felt cleaner than a lot of places I've been recently. And that's a win. Rooms sanitized between stays, hot water linen and laundry washing – all the modern essentials. Plus, they have CCTV in common areas and outside the property for extra peace of mind.
Anecdote time! During my stay, I may have accidentally spilled a pint of… well, let's just say a brown liquid on the carpet. The speed with which a smiling staff member appeared, armed with some serious-looking cleaning gear, was genuinely impressive. Crisis averted!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Fun (and the Fury!)
Alright, let's talk grub. This is where things get interesting.
- Restaurants: They HAVE them. Restaurants. Plural. And a bar.
- Breakfast: Pretty standard Village Hotel fare. Breakfast [buffet] (yay!), with a Western breakfast and Asian breakfast side. I tried the full English, and it was…adequate. Not life-altering, but perfectly edible. Coffee/tea in restaurant is plentiful. Coffee shop on site is nice, too. They offer Breakfast takeaway service which is nice.
- Lunch/Dinner: The menu options are varied, from burgers and pizzas to your usual pub grub suspects. A la carte in restaurant, buffet in restaurant, and alternative meal arrangement are provided. Vegetarian restaurant on site, Snack bar.
- The Bar: Standard bar, the usual suspects. Happy hour is your friend.
- Room Service: Room service [24-hour] – always appreciated! Especially with a hangover.
The Food Verdict: It's not a Michelin-starred experience, but it's convenient, plentiful, and offers something for everyone. The desserts in restaurant looked particularly tempting, and I may or may not have indulged… more than once. Expect decent food and a relaxed atmosphere. The poolside bar is great for a cheeky drink and snack.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
This is where Village Hotel really shines. They've thought of almost everything.
- Check-in/out [express] and Contactless check-in/out: Efficient and time-saving.
- Daily housekeeping: Puts the "lazy" in "lazy vacation!"
- Concierge: Helpful and friendly.
- Cash withdrawal: Useful.
- Convenience store: Perfect for grabbing snacks and essentials.
- Laundry service and Dry cleaning: If you need to look presentable after that accidental brown liquid incident…
- Luggage storage: Another game-changer.
- Car park [on-site]: Easy for those with vehicles.
- Business facilities: (If you have to work – bleurgh)
For the Kids (and the Big Kids at Heart!)
Family/child-friendly is definitely the vibe. They have Kids facilities, and Babysitting service is available. So if the hotel is your destination during the event, then great.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Dive In! (Literally!)
This is where the "shock" might come in. Because the Village Hotel has… well, it has a lot.
- Swimming pool: YES! A decent-sized swimming pool [outdoor] and, even better, a Swimming pool.
- Fitness Center: Absolutely! Gym/fitness is well-equipped.
- Spa: And a Spa. Sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath, and Massage. (I'm now regretting not booking a massage…)
- Pool with view: Well, it's not exactly a vista, but the pool is nice.
- Things to do: The website offers specific offerings so you'll have to jump on that.
The "Shock" Factor (For Me, Anyway)
Honestly? I was genuinely impressed by the sheer scale of the facilities. The pool was clean, the gym was decent, and the spa… well, next time, I'm booking a massage. The Village Newcastle isn't just a place to sleep; it's a mini-resort. If you’re after a hotel with an indoor pool, you’re going to have a good day here.
Rooms: The Details That Matter (And the Ones That Don't)
- Comfort: The rooms are good, not amazing. They are all that you need.
- Amenities: Free Wi-Fi [free] (huge!), and Internet access – wireless. The Internet access – LAN is there if you need it. Additional toilet is a rarity and a great bonus.
Honestly, I could live there for a few days, easily.
The Verdict: So, Is It a "Shock"?
Not in the eye-popping, jaw-dropping sense. But it’s a pleasant surprise. A solid, reliable choice for a stay in Newcastle. It's clean, comfortable, and offers a ton of amenities. The staff are friendly, and the location is pretty good.
Final, Rambling Thoughts…
Would I stay there again? Absolutely. Especially if I’m looking for a convenient base with a good pool and a decent gym. It's not perfect, but it’s darn good. And hey, if you find yourself in Newcastle, and you need a place to crash, and you're after a swim and a decent burger… this Village Hotel is worth a look.
The Offer: Your Geordie Getaway Awaits!
Tired of the Same Old Trip? Get Ready to be Shocked!
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Why Village Hotel?
- More Than Just a Hotel: Experience a full leisure resort with top-notch facilities.
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Village Hotel – Your Newcastle Adventure Starts Here!
Indonesian Paradise Found: The Grantage Hotel & Sky Lounge Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups! This ain't your grandma's itinerary. This is… my potential trundle through Newcastle and the Village Hotel. Let's see if I can survive this without losing my marbles (or my phone charger).
Operation: Toon Takeover (and Possible Meltdown)
Day 1: Arrival and the Eternal Quest for Coffee (and Sanity)
- 14:00 (ish - I'm always late): Arrive at Newcastle Central Station. Okay, first impression: the station is a lot more impressive than my mental image of it. Bonus points. The sheer energy, even on a Tuesday, is pretty electric, like a fizzing can of Irn-Bru (which, by the way, I MUST procure at some point).
- 14:30-ish (hopefully): Taxi to Village Hotel, Newcastle. Praying for a taxi driver who doesn't think I'm an idiot for not knowing the city back to front. My internal compass has a permanent short circuit. I hope my directions are readable because the last time I used a paper map, I ended up in a farmer's field. I can see some potential issues later in the trip.
- 15:00 (or whenever the heck I actually get there): Check-in. Here's where the true test begins: Can I navigate the hotel's fancy self-service kiosks without looking like a complete buffoon? Fingers crossed. Deep breaths. Right, all I want is a room with a decent view and… a working coffee machine. Seriously, people, a working coffee machine is crucial to my survival.
- 15:30-16:00 (or thereabouts): Immediately, immediately, locate the nearest source of caffeine. This might involve a panicked sprint through the hotel, fueled by caffeine withdrawal and the desperate hope of a decent latte. If the hotel coffee is dire (and let's be honest, hotel coffee often is), I’m going rogue and finding an independent shop. I'm envisioning a charming little spot, with exposed brick, the smell of freshly baked scones, and a barista who understands the importance of a perfectly frothed milk. Yes, it could happen.
- 16:00-17:30: Unpack, settle in, and generally attempt to resemble a functioning human being. This might involve staring blankly at the walls for a while, wondering how I ended up here, and then forcing myself to write a few more notes on my day, not forgetting to update the itinerary for the upcoming days!
- 18:00: Dinner at the hotel restaurant? Or am I brave enough to venture out immediately to find a pub? Hmm, that's the question. Let's be honest, I'm probably too tired to go to the pub but I also need to be sociable. Decisions, decisions…
- Evening: Early night? Or, perhaps, a pre-emptive strike against jet lag with a pint of local ale? The siren call of a comfy bed is strong, but oh, the possibility of experiencing the local culture…
Day 2: Football, Fish & Chips, and the Crumbling Illusion of Sanity
- Morning: Waking up. Again, the coffee situation will be a crucial determinant of the mood. Hopefully, the view from my room is either something nice, or if it isn't? Oh well, at least I'll be able to say I've seen something.
- 10:00: A brief foray to explore the hotel. Is there a pool? A gym? Does it even matter? (Probably not, let's be honest).
- 11:00: The main event of the day: Newcastle United Football Club Stadium tour. Oh my God, I am so excited! Now, I'm not a die-hard football fanatic, I'm more of a "oooh, pretty colours and a nice atmosphere" kind of spectator, but still, the history, the atmosphere… I'm going full tourist! I may, however, become a temporary fanatic as a result. If I forget my phone, my trip will fail. I'm genuinely worried I will forget my phone at this point.
- 13:00: Fish and Chips. Where to find good fish and chips? Do I ask the guy at the stadium, or do I ask the locals? Either way, a proper, greasy feast is essential. I'm picturing a paper cone filled with perfectly cooked fish, fluffy chips, and maybe even a side of mushy peas. I can almost taste it!
- Afternoon: Depending on the energy levels, a wander around the city center, maybe a spot of shopping or a look at the bridges? I'll be honest though, I'm pretty sure I'll be mostly in a food coma following the fish and chips.
- Evening: Back to the hotel, catch up on sleep, get a decent meal. Try and not think about the next day's itinerary.
Day 3: Departure and the Relentless March of Time
- Morning: Wake up, grab coffee (hopefully still in supply). This is the last day, I must get the best of it.
- 09:00: Head to the hotel restaurant.
- 10:00: Start packing, and remember to get all your stuff. I am very prone to forgetting things in hotels.
- 11:00: Check out.
- 11:30: Head to the airport.
- Afternoon: Back to reality.
Final Thoughts (and a Slightly Panic-Stricken Plea)
Okay, so this itinerary is a bit of a mess, but that's life, right? I'm sure I'll veer off course, get lost, and probably embarrass myself at some point. But hey, that's what makes a trip memorable, right? And honestly, even with the mess, the fear of missing out, and my general state of organised chaos, I'm absolutely thrilled for this trip. Newcastle, here I come! Wish me luck (and pray for good coffee)!
Lech's BEST Kept Secret: Hotel Tannbergerhof Luxury Awaits!
Newcastle's BEST Kept Secret? This Village Hotel Will SHOCK You! - Let's Get Messy!
Okay, Okay... What's the "Secret" Exactly? Is It REALLY That Good?
Alright, alright, settle down! The "secret" is... well, it's the Village Hotel Club in Newcastle. Yeah, *that* Village Hotel. And is it good? Well, *that* depends on your definition of "good," my friend. Let's just say it's like that friend you have who’s a total train wreck but somehow always delivers when you least expect it. I've had experiences there that range from "meh" to "blissful escape," all within the span of a single weekend.
Honestly, the "shock" isn't necessarily a perfect, Michelin-star experience. It's more the whole package - the surprisingly decent gym, the slightly-too-loud music in the bar, the fact that you *are* actually in Newcastle, and the constant, almost theatrical, sense of it being, well, a Village Hotel. But yeah, the price point keeps you going back. It's like a guilty pleasure.
Tell Me About the Rooms. Are They, You Know... *Clean*?
Okay, deep breaths. Rooms. Let's be brutally honest, shall we? The cleanliness fluctuates. Sometimes it's sparkling, sometimes it's... well, let's say you might find a rogue crumb or two, and maybe a slightly suspect stain on the carpet. NOTHING HORRIBLE, mind you, but you’re not booking the Ritz. I once found like... a single, small, stray sock. I have no idea where it came from. Gave me a good laugh, actually. Adds character, right?
The decor is... predictable. Let's call it "functional chic." The beds are generally comfortable, though. That's a HUGE plus. *Especially* after a night out in Newcastle. The showers are decent, and THAT'S important. The views? Well, you might get a view of the car park. Embrace it, you're here for the *experience*, not the vista!
The Gym! Is It Actually Worth Using? (I'm a Fitness Freak, You Know...)
Okay, fitness freak! Prepare to be... pleasantly surprised. The gym is actually pretty decent. It's got a good selection of machines, free weights, and often, more importantly, isn’t overcrowded, *unless* you go at peak times (like, say, 7 am on a Monday… bad idea). I've never had to wait too long for equipment, which is a major win.
But here's a crucial piece of insider info: the changing rooms… well, they're a mixed bag. Sometimes they're pristine, sometimes they're... not. Once, I swore I saw someone's sweaty socks abandoned in the corner. (See a pattern here?) Just be prepared to, you know, wipe down your bench before you use it and try not to make eye contact with anyone. The gym itself, though? A solid 7/10. Gets the job done.
Okay, one anecdote. One time, I was mid-workout, absolutely dying on the treadmill, when this HUGE guy, looked like he could bench press a small car, started belting out karaoke in the corner while doing bicep curls! I swear I almost choked on my own sweat! It was a completely surreal moment. I should have recorded it. Actually, that’s a lie. I didn’t want to catch his attention. But it’s that unpredictability that makes the Village Hotel gym… memorable.
The Food. Is It... Edible?
Ah, food. The eternal question. Okay, let's be honest. The food is not going to win any culinary awards. It's standard, well-executed pub fare, with a few elevated attempts at more gourmet options, but frankly, I'd treat those with a healthy dose of skepticism. The breakfast buffet is reliable, which is good. Never go wrong with a full english, as long as you don't arrive too late for the sausages. And the coffee is… well, it's coffee. It'll wake you up, is what I'm saying.
The main bar is where the 'experience' really shines. Think loud music, big screens showing sports, and the occasional rowdy group celebrating anything from a stag do to a Tuesday. The food there is… inconsistent. Some days it's great, some days it's "meh." But at least you always get a decent pint. The fries are always worth a punt.
The Pool! Is It Actually Relaxing?
The pool! Now we're talking. The pool is... surprisingly decent. It’s a reasonable size, and often not too packed, which is a massive win. *Especially* when it's freezing outside and you just want to do a few laps. The water's usually a nice temperature, and there's generally a decent amount of natural light.
But here's the catch: it's VERY family-friendly. Which means, you *will* encounter children. Screaming, splashing, inflatable toys… embrace it. Or, you know, bring your noise-canceling headphones. It's all part of the charm. And trust me on this, there’s nothing more relaxing than sitting in a Jacuzzi and watching the kids running around like maniacs, while you sip your water (or something stronger, no judgement here!)... Okay, maybe I shouldn’t call it “relaxing.” Let’s call it “an experience”.
Anything Else I Should Be Aware Of? Any Weird Quirks?
Oh, yeah. Lots of weird quirks. The music in the bar? Loud. Really loud. Be prepared to shout to be heard. The Wi-Fi? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Embrace the digital detox, yeah?
But the biggest quirk? It's the *vibe*. It's… casual. It's… friendly. It's quintessentially Village. You know, it's the place where people are just *doing* things. Working out, swimming, drinking, sleeping. Just living. It's probably not a place to go if you want a perfectly refined experience but if you want something easy, convenient, and reasonably priced, in Newcastle, then it ticks those boxes.
Oh, and one more thing. They *love* themed nights. Keep an eye out. I once stumbled into a "90s night" and ended up doing the Macarena with strangers. Embrace the chaos, people. It's all part of the fun.
So, Should I Book It?
