
**Girl's Only Dorm: Score a Bed in Russia's Hottest Telegraph Hostel!**
Alright, buckle up buttercups! Because this ain't your grandma's hostel review. We're diving headfirst into Girl's Only Dorm: Score a Bed in Russia's Hottest Telegraph Hostel! in, well, Moscow, and I'm not holding back. I'm talking real talk, the kind that leaves you feeling like you've just shared a strong coffee and a few life stories with a total stranger (me!).
First Impressions (and a Little Panic)
Okay, picture this: you're in Moscow, you've navigated Cyrillic signage that looks like alien hieroglyphs, and you're finally, finally, at the door of this… allegedly “hottest” hostel. The name alone – Girl's Only Dorm – already throws a curveball. You know, like, is it going to be a sleepover from hell, complete with hair-pulling and stolen lipsticks? Shudders.
Accessibility & The Great Elevator Gamble
Okay, let's get the serious stuff out of the way first. This is a hostel, right? Accessibility isn't exactly top priority. Now, I didn't personally need a wheelchair, but I did notice the… ahem… Elevator. Yes, there is one. The question is, can it fit a wheelchair? The answer: Maybe. It’s a tight squeeze. Check with them for sure before you book!
Cleanliness & Safety: Did They Actually Scrub?
Listen, I'm a germaphobe. Okay, maybe not full-blown germaphobe, but I definitely side-eye anything that looks remotely suspicious. They say they have Anti-viral cleaning products and Daily disinfection in common areas. And you know what? I actually saw it! The staff were always wiping down surfaces. The rooms were supposed to be sanitized between stays, and honestly, the place felt… clean. Not sterile-hospital clean, but clean enough that I didn’t spend every waking moment clutching Purell. Big thumbs up for the Hand sanitizer readily available, though I will fully admit I overused it.
Safety/Security Features Galore!
CCTV in common areas? Yep. Security [24-hour]? Check. Front desk [24-hour]? Absolutely. This place felt secure, which is huge when you’re a solo female traveler. And, you know, because Moscow can be… well, Moscow. Smoke alarms, Fire extinguishers… all the good stuff. And, yay! Non-smoking rooms.
Rooms: Function Over Glamour (But That's Okay!)
Okay, the rooms are dorms. Basic. Functional. Think bunk beds, lockers (thank god), and the bare essentials. Air conditioning? Praise the travel gods! Especially in the summer. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!? YES! And it actually worked! You know what didn't work? My attempt to unpack my entire suitcase. There's not a ton of closet space, but I didn’t need a Closet, just some hooks for my clothes. The Bed itself was pretty comfy, and they provided fresh linens. This is a win for hostel standards. The Towels weren't the fluffy five-star kind, but they were clean and absorbent. Extra long bed! That’s always a plus when you are over 6 feet tall like me. They even had Blackout curtains (a lifesaver for those jet-lagged mornings).
Internet, Glorious Internet! (And Maybe Some LAN?)
Wi-Fi [free] was everywhere, which is practically a lifeline these days. I was able to post Instagram stories, catch up on emails, and binge-watch Netflix in my bunk. I could not find out if there was Internet [LAN], but I can’t imagine that there’s a wired network in this place. Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Russian Mystery)
Breakfast [buffet]? Yep. Asian breakfast? Surprisingly, yes! Okay, the breakfast was … interesting. They went for options. Asian cuisine in restaurant was a thing. I think I saw Coffee/tea in restaurant. Definitely a Bottle of water waiting for me. The Breakfast takeaway service was handy on those days when I wanted to sleep in. The Desserts in restaurant looked great. I am a big fan of the Snack bar. There was a Coffee shop. Happy hour? Oh, yes, there was a happy hour! I'll admit I had a few "research" sessions at the Bar, which, let’s be honest, is essential for any hostel experience. And they had a surprisingly decent selection of… well, everything…
Dining, Drinking and Snacking
They actually have a full-on restaurant too! Several! Which is pretty awesome for a hostel. The A la carte in restaurant and the Buffet in restaurant were solid, even if some of the food was a little… adventurous. Now, I am a big fan of the Soup in restaurant. The Vegetarian restaurant was good. They even do Room service [24-hour]! I didn't order it, but it's still there.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Hostel Edition)
Alright, relax, this is Moscow. You will be walking everywhere. There's a Terrace, which is cool for sunbathing, although I spent most of my time exploring the city, and it wasn't the best time of year for sunbathing (I came during the freezing cold), So I'm not sure I saw it that much.
I didn’t see a… Pool with view… no. Or Sauna, or Spa, or Steamroom, and definitely no Fitness center, which is fair. But, hey, you're in Moscow! You're there to soak up culture, not to get a body wrap (though, hmm, a Body wrap would be nice).
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Daily housekeeping was a godsend. They had Cash withdrawal, which I needed because half the places don’t take cards. Currency exchange? Yep. Laundry service? You betcha. Luggage storage? Crucial. Concierge? They help with booking tours, restaurants, and all that jazz. And, a Gift/souvenir shop for those last-minute trinkets (guilty!). Ironing service! The only thing that felt pretentious, because who is ironing when you are in a hostel?
Getting Around (or How to Survive Moscow Traffic)
Airport transfer is available (a must). They have a Car park [on-site], although I didn’t need it. The metro is your new best friend. For the Kids (and the Kids at Heart)
Listen, this is a girl's only hostel, but they do have a Babysitting service, and are Family/child friendly. I don't know how that would be useful, but it's there!
Overall Vibe & My Verdict
So, would I stay at Girl's Only Dorm: Score a Bed in Russia's Hottest Telegraph Hostel! again? Absolutely. It's not perfect. It's got the usual hostel quirks. However, it's clean, safe, and it's in a fantastic location. The staff were generally friendly and helpful. The real draw? It was a great base for exploring Moscow!
The Offer: Your Moscow Adventure Awaits!
Tired of bland hotels and boring stays? Craving a Moscow adventure that's as vibrant as the city itself? Girl's Only Dorm has you covered!
- Location, Location, Location: Nestled in the heart of Moscow, you're just steps away from iconic landmarks, buzzing nightlife, and the best shops and dining experiences.
- Safe and Sound: Feel secure with our top-notch security features and 24/7 front desk, so you can explore the city with peace of mind.
- Get Social: Make new friends and create unforgettable memories in our lively common areas and themed events.
- Fuel Your Adventures: Start your day right with a delicious breakfast, and unwind at our bar after a day of exploring.
Book your stay at Girl's Only Dorm today and receive:
- A complimentary welcome drink to kick off your adventure!
- 10% off on all city tours booked through our concierge!
- Free Wi-Fi
Don't miss out! Limited beds are available. Visit our website or call us now to book your unforgettable Moscow experience!
Escape to Paradise: Portugal's Stunning Beach Villa Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into my chaotic adventure at the TELEGRAPH hostel in Moscow. This isn’t your glossy, Instagram-filtered travel plan – this is raw, unfiltered, and probably riddled with typos because, well, I'm a disaster.
My Moscow Mayhem: A Hostile (But Hopefully Not Hostile) Take on TELEGRAPH (Specifically the 8-Bed Female Dorm)
Day 1: Arrival and the "Oh My God, It's Actually Happening" Moment
- 14:00: Arrive at Sheremetyevo Airport (SVO). Jet lag is already whispering sweet nothings of "naptime" in my ear. The airport smells vaguely of disinfectant and existential dread. My first real problem is the Metro – apparently, the alphabet is a suggestion in Cyrillic? Managed to fumble my way through the ticket machines. Victory! (Small ones, I’m easily pleased.)
- 16:00: Arrive at TELEGRAPH hostel. The facade is all charming, faded grandeur. Inside? Well, it looks like a hostel. The lobby is a blur of backpacks, mismatched shoes, and that distinct, slightly funky hostel scent of stale air and… something else. Maybe a hint of desperation?
- 16:30: Check-in. The receptionist is a lovely woman with a face that says, "I've seen things." She hands me a key with a flimsy, slightly stained tag. "Welcome to the 8-bed dorm, comrade." Comrade! I already love this.
- 17:00: Enter the female dorm. Okay, this is it. My temporary home. First impression: it's… compact. Very. I’m pretty sure I can touch all four walls simultaneously while standing. And the air conditioning? Apparently, it's a myth.
- 17:15: Unpack. Or attempt to. My backpack explodes. Clothes, toiletries, and a suspicious amount of instant noodles spill across the floor. "Graceful," I think. "That's the word."
- 18:00: The first encounter. There’s a girl on the top bunk, scrolling through her phone. She has amazing hair. This is a good sign! Actually talking to her is a whole other level of awkwardness.
- 19:00: Wandering around the hostel in search of the communal kitchen. Found it! It’s smaller than my childhood closet. There’s a sad-looking microwave, a chipped teapot, and a communal pot that looks like it's seen some things. I decide to order some food.
Day 2: The Red Square Rollercoaster and Bedtime Drama.
- 09:00: Actually, no. Let’s rewind a bit. Woke up at 06:00, courtesy of my internal clock and the snoring symphony from the top bunk. I thought I hated my alarm but I missed it!
- 10:00: Finally dragged myself out of bed. The shower experience was… memorable. The water pressure? Nonexistent! The shower head? An angry thing that spritzed water in a vaguely aggressive manner. My hair is a mess, and I'm pretty sure I got a tiny bit of mold on my toe. Excellent start.
- 11:00: Red Square! Okay, wow. It’s as magnificent as everyone says. St. Basil's Cathedral is even more bonkers in person – those colors! Those onion domes! I snap a million photos and feel like I’ve walked into a fairytale. Except the fairytale is rapidly becoming a massive crush of tourists.
- 13:00: Lunch. Found a tiny little place off the main square. Ordered some borscht. The borscht was… not great. Lukewarm at best. I’m starting to think I should have practiced my Russian more.
- 14:00: Back to the hostel for a break. The 8-bed dorm is proving to be a fascinating sociological experiment. There's a girl who’s sketching intensely, one who is constantly on video calls, and another who smells vaguely of patchouli. The patchouli girl is also, unfortunately, snoring in her sleep. (That's her on video calls's girlfriend, btw.)
- 21:00: Bedtime. The snoring? It's worse. Seriously, I’m pretty sure she's practicing for a competitive snoring competition. I try earplugs. I try focusing on the ceiling. I’m losing the battle. A minor, but ongoing conflict.
- 23:00: The video calls girl is still awake and still on the phone. I can't say that it is any more comfortable, now that her girlfriend is snoring really loud.
Day 3: Kremlin Crumbs and the Great Laundry Lament
- 09:00: The Kremlin! Absolutely stunning. The detail, the history… the sheer weight of power radiating from those walls! I’m overwhelmed. And, apparently, the official Kremlin shop sells… Matryoshka dolls with Putin's face on them. Is this a souvenir or a political statement? I'm not sure, but I kind of want one.
- 12:00: I eat a quick snack. I am broke, and I need money to get around.
- 13:00: The laundry room. The holy grail of clean clothes. A tiny, windowless room. Two washing machines, both of which look like they’ve survived a nuclear winter. I'm intimidated; I decide that my clothes are dirty enough to just keep wearing them.
- 15:00: Back to the hostel. The 8-bed dorm is strangely quiet. One of the girls is packing her bag. "Leaving already?" I ask. She gives me a tired smile. "This place is… something else," she says. "Good luck." The other girls are gone as well!
- 16:00: I am alone. Or am I? The air smells different. The light is strange.
Day 4: Moscow, I think I love you… even with the snoring.
- 09:00: The best sleep ever. I have the whole dorm to myself, and it's glorious.
- 11:00: Breakfast. Found a cute little cafe. Went for pastries.
- 15:00: I wander around Moscow, and finally start to let myself enjoy it. Even the metro.
- 19:00: The most awkward conversation with the front counter. "Do you have… I need an adapter for a UK plug." "Nyet." I am not going to let something like this stand in my way.
- 23:00: I have a new roommate. And the snoring has begun again.
Final Thoughts (And My Honest Review of TELEGRAPH’s 8-Bed Dorm):
Look, TELEGRAPH is… well, it’s a hostel. It's rough around the edges. The 8-bed female dorm is a microcosm of human experience: laughter, tears, earplugs.
Would I recommend it? Maybe. If you have a sense of humor, a tolerance for communal living, and the ability to sleep through a Category 5 hurricane… then yeah, go for it. Don't expect luxury. Expect character. Expect stories. Expect a slightly bruised sense of personal space. And, most importantly, expect to come away with something you will never forget. Maybe.
My rating: 3 out of 5 stars. Would be 5 if someone could silence the snorers. And if they did a better job with the plumbing. But hey, it's a story!
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So, You Wanna Crash at the Telegraph Hostel? (Girl's Only Edition, obvi.) Let's Talk... Truthfully.
Is this place REALLY as hot as it sounds in the ads? Like, Instagram-worthy hot?
Okay, let's be real. "Hottest" is subjective. It's hot, for sure. The Telegraph Hostel is *definitely* Instagram-able. Think exposed brick, funky art, and that cool, deliberately-unkept aesthetic that's all the rage. But listen, don't go expecting a perfectly curated photoshoot at every corner. Sometimes the lighting’s atrocious, and yes, I once tripped on the laundry bag someone left out - right in front of a very handsome (and judging) Russian guy I wanted to impress. So, yeah, the "hotness" is a vibe – mostly. Just be prepared for real life to intrude on your aesthetically pleasing Insta feed.
Is it *actually* girls-only? Like, zero dudes allowed? 'Cause I need to bring... a very special friend. (He's a cat.)
YES. Girls. Only. No exceptions. Well, almost. Okay, I *think* I saw a very lost-looking hamster once, but that’s a story for another time. But your cat? Probably fine, assuming he’s not a total jerk. Honestly, the no-boys thing IS a HUGE draw. It’s freedom! You can wander around in ancient pajamas, eat questionable snacks at 3 am, and not have to, like, *care* if your eyeliner is perfectly applied. It’s liberation, I swear. Just let them know you’re bringing Nibbles, and try to keep him OFF the vintage couch.
Okay, so the "score a bed" bit... Is it actually competitive? Like, Hunger Games for hostel bunks?
Hmmm... "Hunger Games" is a bit dramatic. Mostly. The beds themselves, the *physical* beds, are easy enough to secure. BUT, booking the *right* bed – the one near the window, or away from the snorer from hell –? That's the game. Seriously, there's a subtle art to it. You gotta be quick on the trigger with those booking websites. And pray to the travel gods that you don't end up next to the girl who's ALWAYS Facetiming her ex. (True story. I heard ALL about it.) My advice? Book EARLY. Bribe the receptionist with chocolates (it works!). And maybe pack some earplugs. Just in case.
What's the vibe like? Is it all super-cool, know-it-all travelers, or is it more...friendly?
It's a mixed bag, darling. You get the "I-went-to-Burning-Man-and-found-myself-while-eating-fermented-yak-cheese" types. And you get the "I'm-completely-clueless-but-willing-to-try-anything" types. And the "I'm-just-here-for-the-vodka" types (my personal favourite, honestly). It’s mostly friendly, thankfully. You’ll probably meet some genuinely lovely, fascinating women. I made a friend there who's now living in Bali, and we still chat about the awful, communal breakfast croissants. But, you also might encounter a few...characters. The girl who insists on doing interpretive dance at 3 am. The girl who steals your shampoo. The girl who, for some inexplicable reason, unpacks ALL of her belongings onto your bed. (I may or may not have been that girl once...it was a rough trip, okay?) Roll with it. It's part of the fun. And remember, there's strength in numbers...and you can always hide in the bathroom and eat the (stolen) chocolate.
The location… Is it actually convenient? I don’t speak Russian, so…
Okay, location is KEY. And the Telegraph Hostel… it's pretty solid. You’ll be close to all the major touristy stuff, AND the good coffee shops (essential). Seriously, I once spent a solid afternoon lost in the Metro, weeping, because I thought I’d never find a decent cappuccino again. The Telegraph hostel is within walking distance of *everything* – and when you're wandering around a new city, that's gold. Just download a translation app. And maybe learn a few basic Russian phrases. Trust me. “Spasibo” (thank you) will get you far. “Gde tualet?” (where is the toilet?) will get you even further. I learned that the hard way, let me tell ya.”
Tell me about the communal areas. Is it social or awkward?
The communal areas… It's like a social experiment, honestly. Sometimes it's glorious. You're sharing stories, swapping travel tips, and making plans for the next amazing adventure. Other times, it's… awkward. You might find yourself silently judging someone's questionable fashion choices, or struggling to navigate a conversation with a girl who insists on speaking ONLY in interpretive dance. There's a common room, a kitchen… You know, the usual hostel suspects. The kitchen is where the drama unfolds, usually centered around who left the messiest dishes in the sink. My top tip? Bring food. Always bring snacks. Then you can either share them, be the hero, or hide in your bed and eat in blissful solitude. Your call.
Hygiene… How clean is clean? (I'm a clean freak.)
Alright, let's be clear. It's a hostel. Clean is relative. It's not a five-star hotel, okay? The dorms are *generally* clean enough. They do, like, a cursory clean every day or so. But you are sharing a space with a bunch of other humans, some of whom have questionable hygiene habits. Like the girl who left her socks on the windowsill to dry. For three days. I may or may not have stealthily "relocated" them. The bathrooms… are hit or miss. Bring your own flip-flops for the shower, and maybe a hazmat suit, just in case. My advice? Lower your expectations slightly. Pack hand sanitizer. Embrace the chaos. And try not to think too much about the germs. Otherwise, you will go MAD.
Okay, so I’m booked! Any pro tips for surviving...? Thriving?
SURVIVE! Thriving is a high bar here, my friend. But, here’s my (slightly messy) wisdom from my Telegraph Hostel adventures... * **Pack Light (but don't forget ALL THE THINGS):** Seriously, you'll thank me later. You're going to be lugging your stuff everywhere, up and down stairs, through crowded train stations. But also, don't skimp on the essentials. Earplugs, eye mask, travel-sized detergent for those inevitable laundry emergencies. Luxury Stay Blog

