Simonstown Penthouse: Your Dream Escape Awaits (South Africa)
Simonstown Penthouse: My Dream Escape… or Did I Just Dream It? (A Very Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unload on you about the Simonstown Penthouse. It's marketed as "Your Dream Escape Awaits," and honestly? They're not wrong. They might be overselling it JUST a tiny bit, but hey, that's the marketing game, right? Let's dive in, because I have feelings. LOTS of feelings.
Accessibility & Safety – My Obsession (and Relief!)
First things first: Wheelchair Accessible, Facilities for Disabled Guests, Elevator. YES! That's music to my ears (and, you know, legs!). Knowing I can actually GET to the place without a struggle is HUGE. And the fact they have 24-hour Security, CCTV in Common Areas & Outside Property, Fire Extinguishers, Smoke Alarms, and a First Aid Kit? Makes me feel like I can actually breathe easy. I'm a worrier, okay? I appreciate that. Seriously.
Cleanliness & Safety - Because, You Know, Pandemic Times:
Look, COVID-19 still exists. So when I see Anti-viral Cleaning Products, Daily Disinfection in Common Areas, Sanitized Kitchen and Tableware Items, Hand Sanitizer EVERYWHERE, and Staff Trained in Safety Protocol, I'm already breathing a sigh of relief. They even have Room Sanitization Opt-out Available. (Though, honestly? I'm not opting out. Give me that clean, baby!) The Individually-Wrapped Food Options are a lifesaver – especially when I have my mask on!
And the Hot Water Linen and Laundry Washing? Yes, please. They also provide Professional-grade Sanitizing Services. That's important!
My First Impression… and A Slight Hiccup
Arrival was smooth thanks to the Check-in/out [express] and Contactless check-in/out. And thankfully, a Doorman was there to help me with my luggage. I'm all about saving the effort and energy because I was REALLY excited.
The room? The extra long bed was definitely calling my name. And the bedsheets are perfect!
But Okay… my first real feeling… was excitement! And a tiny bit of… overwhelm. See, the pictures online are stunning. The reality? Still breathtaking, but maybe a little… less perfect? (More on that later.) And, for the record, the Air conditioning in public areas was a godsend because it was hot, hot, hot outside.
Internet, because let's be real…
The Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!? Absolute must. The Internet access – wireless was reliable, but I did try to use the Internet access – LAN and wasn’t able to get it. So, I’ll give it a pass.
The Amenities… and Where Things Get Interesting
Okay, let's talk about the good stuff. The stuff you really want to know about.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax:
This place is basically designed to make you mellow. They have a Pool With A View! (Hello, Instagram potential!). And Outdoor Swimming pool? Perfect after a long day. They also had a Spa/sauna and… it was alright. I'm not a huge sauna person, but the pool view alone almost sold me.
And if the pool not enough? They also had a Gym/Fitness center. I never used it once. I’m on vacation!
The Food and Drinking Situation - My Personal Battleground
Deep breath Ah, yes. The food. They have various restaurants with Western cuisine, Asian cuisine, and Vegetarian restaurants. This is where things got a little… complicated. The Breakfast [buffet] was huge. Crazy huge. Lots of options. But the quality was… well, let’s just say my taste buds weren't doing cartwheels. The Coffee/tea in restaurant however was surprisingly good. And the Poolside bar? That one I loved. Watching the sunset with a cocktail? Yes, please! They also have a Bar. I like bars.
Oh! And they have a Room service [24-hour] service.
Services and Convenience - The Nitty-Gritty
The Daily housekeeping was super efficient, which I appreciated. And they have Laundry service and Dry cleaning, which obviously made packing easier!
For the Kids & Family-Friendly:
They have Babysitting service, Kids facilities, and Kids meal!
Other little things that were good:
- Air conditioning in public area
- Bottle of water
- Car park [free of charge]
The Room… the Dream… and the Unintended Comedy
Okay, so the room. It was… well-equipped! Air conditioning, Blackout curtains(perfect for a lazy day), Coffee/tea maker, Hair dryer, In-room safe box(important!), Refrigerator, Smoke detector, and more. A Sofa was there for me to lounge on. I was in heaven.
But here’s the funny part. At first, I was slightly underwhelmed. Everything looked perfect, but… I’m going to be honest. It felt a little… sterile. A little too perfect.
And let me tell you about the bathroom. It had a Separate shower/bathtub. I loved the Bathrobes and Slippers. And let's not forget the Additional toilet. Amazing!
But then? I found a tiny, PERFECT scratch on the mirror. A hairline crack in the window that was all but invisible. And suddenly, it all felt… real. Like, this wasn’t a glossy magazine ad. This was a place lived in. A place where life happens. And you know what? I loved it. It felt human. And that slight imperfection brought a smile to my face every time.
Areas of improvement:
Although it was great, there were a few little quirks.
- There were no Pets allowed
- There weren’t any Convenience stores
Final Verdict: Should You Go?
Absolutely, yes. Despite some slight… imperfections. The Simonstown Penthouse is an excellent place to stay!
My Unsolicited Advice (and Marketing Angle):
Book the Simonstown Penthouse because:
- You want a place that's safe, clean, and ready for modern times.
- You want a view that will make you forget about your life.
- You want a place where you can relax because everyone offers that – but this is the one that actually delivers on that promise.
- You want to feel safe and cared for, with staff who genuinely want to make your stay special.
- You want a getaway that feels luxurious without the pretense.
- You want that PERFECT Instagram photo (and the one after you drop your phone in the pool, because that pool is tempting.)
- And, most importantly, you want to escape. And Simonstown Penthouse truly does that.
Book Now! And tell them I sent you! (Okay, you don't have to, but I wouldn't mind a free stay…)
P.S. I forgot to mention the Terrace! Seriously, the view! Book it! You won't regret it.
(And in case anyone from the Simonstown Penthouse is reading this: Great job! Keep up the good work. And maybe… replace the mirror? Just kidding. Maybe.)
Unbelievable Japan Guesthouse: Taiken Inn's Hidden Gems!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause we're diving headfirst into my Simonstown Penthouse adventure. Prepare for a bumpy ride, because my travel plans are about as rigid as a wet noodle. Here goes… a very messy, opinionated, and utterly unfiltered itinerary:
Simonstown Penthouse: The Great South African Adventure (aka, Pray for Me)
Day 1: Arrival and Initial Panic (aka, Where's the Wi-Fi?)
- Morning (or, Let's be Honest, Mid-Afternoon): Landed in Cape Town. Holy smokes, those mountains are breathtaking. Okay, cool, got that out of my system. Now, the drive to Simonstown. That’s where the actual adventure begins. I'm already sweating, and I haven't even met a penguin yet. Found the Penthouse! (Thank God, my phone was starting to die - Wi-Fi is a MUST!)
- Afternoon: Unpacking and Initial Assessment (aka, Is This Real Life?) The Penthouse itself? Gorgeous. Like, Instagram-worthy gorgeous. The view? Staggering. The reality of unpacking after a 15-hour flight and a chaotic transfer? Brutal. Found a bottle of wine and a packet of biltong, my two greatest travelling companions, and spent an hour just staring out the window, feeling utterly overwhelmed in the best way possible. South Africa, you are already winning! But where's the coffee? More importantly, where's the Wi-Fi password? (Seriously, I NEED IT to post this masterpiece).
- Evening: First Dinner Mishap and Penguin Anticipation (aka, Pray for the Penguins) A local restaurant was recommended. Got lost. Twice. Ended up at a place that looked promising, but the food was… well, let's just say the biltong was better. But hey, the staff were friendly and the sunset over False Bay was ridiculously beautiful. Then, the penguin anticipation hit. I'm pretty sure I dreamed of them waddling all night long. Seriously, I hope I can see some penguins tomorrow! I'm already feeling like a Disney princess, waiting for the day that I can finally see the animals that will be coming next.
Day 2: Penguin Pilgrimage and Coastal Chaos (aka, My Heart is Full)
- Morning: Boulders Beach Battle (aka, Penguin Overload!) Woke up before the sun. Couldn't wait to see the penguins. That's all that mattered. Drove to Boulders Beach. It was CROWDED. Tourists everywhere. But then… BAM! Penguins! They were EVERYWHERE. Waddling, swimming, sunbathing. They're adorable, messy, and absolutely charming. Spent hours there, taking way too many photos (sorry, not sorry). I think I even teared up a little. They are so much more interesting to look at in person than in pictures.
- Afternoon: Coastal Drive of Doom (aka, Car Trouble and Coastal Bliss) Decided to take a scenic coastal drive. Got a flat tire. On a mountain road. Luckily, a very kind local family helped me out. They spoke broken English, I spoke even worse Afrikaans, but we got the tire changed. The views, though! The rugged coastline, crashing waves, the sheer immensity of the ocean… Absolutely stunning. I spent the rest of the drive with my window down, yelling at the sea, just to release my feelings.
- Evening: Simonstown Stroll and Pub Grub (aka, The Perfect Day?) Back in Simonstown, grabbed a simple dinner at a pub. Fish and chips, a pint of local beer. Watched the sunset paint the harbor in fiery colors. Sat there, feeling incredibly content, even with the tire saga. This is the stuff of travel dreams. I am actually loving the slower pace of life.
Day 3: Cape Point Capers and Unexpected Encounters (aka, Almost Getting Eaten by a Baboon)
- Morning: Cape Point Ascent (aka, Hikes, Views, and Near-Death Experiences) Decided to tackle Cape Point. Climbed the lighthouse. The views were spectacular. Truly. Like, you can see forever. Except in my case, I almost became baboon-fodder. Those cheeky monkeys are aggressive and definitely not afraid of tourists. This trip has been an experience already.
- Afternoon: Wine-Tasting Woes (aka, Too Much Wine and a Stumbling Walk) Chose a nearby wine farm because, well, wine. The views were beautiful, but the wine was…strong. Let's just say the "tasting" turned into a "slurring and giggling" session. Thankfully, I had a driver for that. I should have had him drive from the beginning! Spent the next hour wandering through the vineyards, feeling a bit tipsy and blissfully happy.
- Evening: Back to the Penthouse, Reflections, and Meltdown (aka, I Love This Place!) Back at the penthouse, the view from the balcony just makes me want to cry. It's a beautiful day. Maybe it's the wine, maybe it's actual exhaustion, but I am just so happy.
Day 4: The Deep Dive (aka, Sharky Shenanigans)
- Morning: Great White Shark Diving with a Twist (aka, The Perfect Day) Today, I decided I wanted to be brave and face my fears. What better way to do that than to explore the life of a shark? I went shark diving! I actually felt nervous but I also felt so exhilarated! The adrenaline was pumping, but when the great white shark swam past my cage I felt myself in awe of the world and the animals.
- Afternoon: Recovering and Writing (aka, Let's Get That Blog Post Done!) After the shark diving, I couldn't face the ocean. I spent the afternoon in my Penthouse apartment, reflecting on the adventure, writing a blog post, and finishing the wine.
Day 5: Departure and the Sad Farewell (aka, Where's My Passport?)
- Morning: Panic! (aka, This is it?) I have to pack and get ready for my flight back home. The flight is in like 6 hours! Where is my passport?! I cannot leave without my passport! I hope I don't get stuck in the airport overnight!
- Afternoon: Airport Chaos (aka, Let's Get Me Home!) I managed to find my passport and leave the penthouse, but I ended up stuck at the airport, waiting for my flight to arrive. I ate some snacks, and read a book. At least I could spend some time getting away from the crowds.
- Evening: The End (aka, Next time…) I left the airport and boarded my plane. As the plane took off, I took one last look at South Africa and realized how special this destination was. Next time, I might stay longer.
Things I Learned:
- Penguins are cooler in real life.
- Baboons are terrifying.
- Cape Town wine is delicious (and dangerous).
- South Africa is a place that I will definitely visit again.
This itinerary is, of course, subject to change. I'm embracing the chaos. Simonstown, you incredible place, you stole my heart (and may have given me a slight sunburn). Until next time! (And please, someone tell me the Wi-Fi password!)
Escape to Paradise: Parentium Hotel's Croatian Coastal Getaway
Simonstown Penthouse: Your Dream Escape - Uh...Maybe? Let's Figure This Out.
Is this place actually *that* amazing? The photos...they're kinda perfect. Suspect, no?
Okay, alright, let's be real. The photos? Yeah, they're good. Like, really good. A little too good, perhaps? I mean, I'm no photographer, but I'm pretty sure they used some serious Photoshop magic. The actual truth? Simonstown Penthouse IS stunning. Truly. The view? Unbelievable. That said… expect a slightly less polished version of reality. The balcony is exactly as advertised – you practically feel like you're floating on the ocean. BUT, one time, I was out there, just soaking it in, and BAM! A rogue seagull swooped in and nearly stole my sausage roll. So, yeah. Picture perfect with a side of bird poop potential. Keep your wits about you. And maybe bring a net.
Also, and this is important, the "fully equipped kitchen"? Technically true. But the butter dish...it’s seen better days. Just saying. Bring extra butter. And maybe a new dish.
What's the deal with the parking? I've heard South African parking is… an experience.
Alright, parking in Simonstown. It's… well, it’s not *terrible*, but it’s not the best either. The Penthouse itself usually has allocated parking, which is fantastic. However, getting *to* the parking can be a bit of a challenge. Those narrow, winding streets? They're a true test of your parallel parking skills. (Mine are…developing.) Expect to maybe, potentially, accidentally graze a curb. Or ten. I swear, one time I saw a *goat* handle the turns better than I did. Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. Just… take your time, and don't be afraid to ask a local for help. They’re usually pretty friendly and used to clueless tourists. And remember, you're on holiday. Deep breaths.
Is it family-friendly? My kids are… energetic.
Um… family-friendly? That depends on your definition of "family-friendly." The penthouse itself is generally fine. Spacious, enough room for kids to run around, the balcony (with its breathtaking view!) is secure-ish... but, let’s be brutally honest: energetic children? This place is a recipe for disaster. I mean, *I* almost tripped over a coffee table the size of a small car. Imagine the potential for chaos with a couple of little tornadoes running around. The gorgeous, and presumably breakable, decor? The pristine white surfaces? No, no, no. Unless you're willing to spend your entire vacation playing "keep away from the Ming vase," I'd suggest maybe looking elsewhere. Or, you know, bring bubble wrap. Lots of bubble wrap.
Okay, the view. They rave about the view. Is it actually as incredible as they claim?
The view. Oh, the view. Prepare to have your socks knocked off. Seriously. Wake up early, make a coffee (with your potentially-sketchy butter dish), and just… *stare*. The sunrises are epic. The sunsets? Forget about it. I once spent a whole afternoon just glued to the balcony, watching the waves crash and the seals frolic (well, they might have been… it was hard to tell from up there). It's… therapeutic. You can almost *hear* the stress melting away. Almost. Because let's be real, life finds a way to throw you curveballs. Like the time I was enjoying the view and my phone decided to… die. No charger. Trapped. But still, the view… it still made it okay. Mostly.
What's the vibe of the Penthouse? Is it a place to relax, or more of a party spot?
Relax. Definitely relax. Think quiet evenings on the balcony, sipping wine (provided you managed to get the cork out without snapping the corkscrew, which... I’m not going to lie, happened to me). Think cozy nights in, watching the stars. It's not a party spot. Unless you consider "me, myself, and a bottle of Pinotage" to be a party. Then, yes, it's a *fantastic* party spot. The only people who'll be disturbed are the seagulls, and they aren't usually known for their complaints. (Or maybe they are. Hard to understand their language...)
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, you know… Instagram.
Yes, there's usually Wi-Fi. (Praise be!). The speed? That’s a different story. It's not always… blazing fast. Sometimes, you'll be able to upload your stunning view photos instantly. Other times? You'll be staring at the loading icon for an eternity, feeling like you're back in the dial-up days. Just prepare yourself mentally. And maybe download some entertainment beforehand, just in case. I’ve had times I could barely load Google… which is an experience in itself. Really makes you *think*.
What’s the deal with the cleaning? Is it included? What happens if I make a *mess*?
Ah, the cleaning. This is a crucial question. Generally, cleaning is included. Usually. You know, the usual arrangement. But if you, let’s say… accidentally spill an entire bottle of red wine on the pristine white rug (hypothetically speaking, obviously), you might want to… discreetly address the situation. Or, you know, possibly hire a professional cleaner. Just saying. Don't be the guest who leaves a permanent stain. That’s just bad karma. Also, don't be *too* messy in the first place. The cleaning staff are lovely people, and they've seen enough. Trust me.
What's there to do in Simonstown? Anything other than stare at the view?
Simonstown is charming, but a "vibrant nightlife" it ain’t. You can, of course, visit the penguins at Boulders Beach – an absolute must-do (but get there early, the crowds can be insane!). There are some quaint shops and restaurants. Stay While You Wander
