Escape to Paradise: Shivoham Yoga Retreat, India (Your Transformative Journey Awaits)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the swirling, sun-kissed, and potentially slightly dusty world of the Escape to Paradise: Shivoham Yoga Retreat in India. This isn't your dry, robotic travel brochure, oh no. This is real talk. This is me, grappling with the existential questions of good vibe vs. bad vibe, all while trying to figure out if that mango lassi was actually as dreamy as I remember.
First Impressions (and that Awkward First Step): Accessibility, and the Great Wheelchair Saga
Alright, let's be brutally honest: accessibility is always a question mark, and Shivoham – and India in general – can be a bit of a mixed bag. The website claims facilities for disabled guests, and that's great, but you need to confirm, confirm, confirm directly with the retreat about specifics. Think ramps, elevators, accessible rooms… don’t assume anything. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. That time in Rome, I thought the "accessible" room meant you just needed a good sense of adventure to get to it… ended up basically mountain climbing with my suitcase.
The initial ramp up to the main building? Probably okay. The side garden path? Maybe… bring your own sherpa (or at least a sturdy friend). This isn't a deal-breaker, mind you, but know before you go. I really need the details, specifics, and a visual confirmation from staff member through video call to assure me.
Getting Connected (My Wi-Fi Obsession):
Okay, I'm not ashamed to admit it: in this digital age, Wi-Fi is practically oxygen. And here at Shivoham? Yes! Free Wi-Fi in ALL ROOMS! Praise be! And in public areas too? Even better! I'm a sucker for a strong signal, so I can do some remote work or binge-watch some Netflix in the evening after a long, hard yoga session. I needed the internet so I can post that selfie and brag about how zen I'm becoming. Internet [LAN] sounds like if you want a more secure connection. I'm not a techie, but I think it's a good thing. Internet services are good for business. I'm a blogger, so it's crucial. Wi-Fi for special events too? Heck yeah!
Let's Talk Relaxation (Because, Duh, Yoga Retreat):
This is where Shivoham should truly shine, right? Let's break it down, starting with the basics:
- Massage: Oh, yes, please! After a long flight and all that, a good massage is the cure. No, the only question is whether to go for the full body, or just a back and shoulders.
- Spa & Sauna, Spa/sauna: This is the stuff of dreams. Sauna is a favorite of mine, I like how it helps detox. It's good for muscles and it enhances the experience.
- Body Scrub & Body Wrap: I've never tried a body wrap, sounds amazing, and I've always wanted. The body scrub, though, is a must.
- Pool with View & Swimming Pool [outdoor]: Sounds heavenly. Nothing like floating in a pool, gazing at the mountains, and contemplating the meaning of life (or just what you're having for lunch).
- Foot Bath: This is a bonus, it's pretty cool.
- Sauna & Steamroom: The heat, the sweat, the feeling of melting into relaxation… pure bliss.
- Fitness Center & Gym/fitness: Good to stay in shape.
And the really good news? All this… is a big part of the experience. This is why you’re there. To unwind, to de-stress, to… well, to escape.
The Food: Fueling the Inner Yogi (and the Grumbling Stomach)
Okay, the food situation can make or break a retreat, and I'm hoping Shivoham gets it right.
- Asian breakfast & Asian cuisine in restaurant: I'm always up for a good Asian breakfast.
- Breakfast [buffet] & Buffet in restaurant: Buffet, it's your friend. It's your savior when you're ravenous after a morning yoga session.
- Breakfast service & Breakfast takeaway service: In-room breakfast is a treat, but a grab-and-go option is a lifesaver when you have early morning activities.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Crucial for this type of retreat.
- International cuisine in restaurant: I'd like to see more options, like Mexican with vegetarian options.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant & Coffee shop: Caffeine is essential.
- Restaurant, A la carte in restaurant: Choice is good.
- Poolside bar & Happy hour: Essential for a sunset cocktail to toast a day of serenity.
- Snack bar: I'm always snacking.
- Desserts in restaurant: Gotta have a little bit of sweetness.
- Bottle of water: Hydration is key.
I'm definitely keeping a close eye on the dietary options and quality. Good food is essential for a good retreat. (And, look, if they're serving a kick-ass mango lassi, I'm basically sold.)
Things to Do (Beyond the Downward Dog):
- Shrine: It's an experience.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Seminars, and Meetings: This is an important one for us, so we can do it as a team.
- Indoor venue for special events and Outdoor venue for special events: Perfect!
Cleanliness & Safety: The Pandemic Factor (and My Slightly Paranoid Mind):
Okay, let's be honest, we're all a little paranoid these days. It's just the way it is. So, the specifics here are important:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good start.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Excellent.
- Hand sanitizer: Essential.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Non-negotiable.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Make sure this is enforced.
- Individually-wrapped food options & Safe dining setup: That's great.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Please!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: This makes sense.
- Doctor/nurse on call & First aid kit: Just in case.
The Rooms: My Personal Sanctuary (or Potential Nightmare):
This is where the rubber meets the road. The room can make or break the whole experience.
- Air conditioning: Essential.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Double essential.
- Free bottled water: Always appreciated.
- Desk, Laptop workspace: Work, I need to do a bit of it, even on my holidays.
- Additional toilet, Additional toilet: Good.
- Alarm clock: I'm not a morning person.
- Bathrobes & Slippers: This is luxury.
- Bathroom phone: It's extra.
- Bathtub & Separate shower/bathtub: Options are good, it's all about taking a long hot bath.
- Blackout curtains: Sleep is important.
- Closet: For all your clothes and luggage.
- Coffee/tea maker & Complimentary tea: Always great.
- Complimentary tea: Always great.
- Daily housekeeping: A clean room is a happy room.
- Extra long bed: Important!
- Hair dryer: Essential.
- High floor: I love a view!
- In-room safe box: Very important.
- Internet access – LAN & Internet access – wireless: Good.
- Ironing facilities: I hate to look like I haven't ironed my clothes.
- Linens & Towels: Good, good.
- Mini bar: Always.
- Mirror: Gotta check yourself.
- Non-smoking: Please.
- On-demand movies: Always a plus.
- Private bathroom & Toiletries: Crucial.
- Reading light: Important for reading.
- Refrigerator: Sometimes needed.
- Satellite/cable channels, Satellite/cable channels: Good.
- Scale: Not so good.
- Seating area & Sofa: Relaxing.
- Smoke detector & Fire extinguisher: Safety, always.
- Socket near the bed: Essential for charging.
- Soundproofing: Crucial.
- Telephone: Good for calling room service.
- Towels, Umbrella: Always useful.
- Visual alarm & Wake-up service: Please and thank you.
- Window that opens & Window that opens: Fresh air is good.
The "Extras" (The Little Things that Make a Difference):
- Concierge: Always helpful.
- Cash withdrawal & Currency exchange: Useful.
- Convenience store: For those emergency chocolate cravings
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this itinerary is less "gleaming brochure" and more "slightly frantic, emotionally fueled travelogue of a sleep-deprived yogi-wannabe in India." This is my Shivoham Yoga Retreat (and, let's be honest, self-discovery) attempt. Here we go…
Shivoham Yoga Retreat: The Messy, Wonderful Truth (and Possibly Tears)
Day 1: Arrival & "Oh My God, I'm ACTUALLY Here" Shock
- Morning (ish): Landed in Bangalore. The airport? Surprisingly modern. The taxi driver? Talkative, with a penchant for horn-honking symphonies. I’m pretty sure he saw my wide-eyed fear and decided to help, which translated to: "See! The traffic is not so bad, little lady, honk honk! Welcome India!" Which was lovely, really. But also, terrifying.
- Afternoon: Arrived at Shivoham. The pictures? They lied! In a good way. It's even more lush, more serene, more… smelling like incense and possibility. The initial warm welcome was quickly overshadowed by the realization I'd left my favorite yoga pants at home. Devastation. Truly, the end of the world as I knew it. Also, jet lag. So, you know, the usual.
- Evening: Welcome dinner. Bland, but okay. The people? A mix. There's the super-zen couple, already channeling the mantra of the week. Then there’s Brenda from Birmingham, who's convinced yoga is just organized stretching, bless her heart. I'm mostly just trying not to spill my… lukewarm soup on my new, ill-fitting salwar kameez. (Why did I think I could pull this off?) The first guided meditation? I fell asleep. Twice. Woke up feeling guilty and a little… weirdly happy.
Day 2: Yoga, Yoga, and the Existential Dread of Handstands
- Morning: Sunrise yoga. Okay, wow. Asanas felt like torture. My hamstrings declared war at the warrior pose. The instructor (a woman who moved like a graceful, slender cobra) kept telling me to "breathe." Like I hadn't been breathing? Honestly?! But then… that sunrise. The colors, the stillness, the way the wind kissed the trees… Yeah. Okay, I get it. Maybe the breathing thing is actually a thing.
- Afternoon: Ayurvedic consultation. This involved a doctor poking, prodding, and declaring my "vata dosha" (which makes me sound like I have a chronic condition) is out of balance. The solution? Eat more… something, probably. And (gasp!) LESS COFFEE. I feel like I just got kicked in the gut. I love coffee. I need coffee. This might be a dealbreaker. I'll see how long I last.
- Evening: Workshop on chakras. Got a bit lost in the whole concept. Realised I might be a bit too "root chakra focused" – in other words, stubbornly grounded in my own anxieties. Also, the handstand practice. Disaster. I was convinced I'd break my neck. Brenda laughed, then almost managed it herself. Solidarity! We are all in deep trouble.
- Food Review: The food is getting better, though I'm starting to miss my morning bagel.
Day 3: The Great Indian Stomach Rebellion & Finding A Tiny Bit of Peace
- Morning: More yoga. Managed to make it through without weeping this time. Did fall over in a tree pose. Twice. Brenda helped me up. She offered a protein bar (bless).
- Afternoon: My stomach is rebelling. Is it the spices? The weird water? Is it the sheer stress of being "healthy"? No idea. Spent a good portion of the afternoon in the bathroom. Not the most glamorous part of the retreat, let me tell you. Learned a valuable lesson: Always carry tissues. And maybe a comforting snack.
- Evening: Walked around the grounds. Found a little quiet spot under a banyan tree. The sound of the wind, the feeling of the earth, the smell of… well, mostly the lingering scent of incense, but it was pleasant. Actually, for a sliver of time my mind wasn't in a state of frantic "what if" or "I can't do this." It was… quiet. Almost peaceful. I will build a fortress with that feeling and protect it, dammit.
- Food review: The food is still weird but it's getting less weird. Maybe I'm just getting used to being… different.
- Emotional Reaction: Feeling a little vulnerable, a little homesick, but also… intrigued. What the heck am I doing here? And, more importantly, what am I going to become?
Day 4: The Waterfall Moment (and Brenda's Unexpected Wisdom)
- Morning: Yoga. I'm starting to feel a tiny bit less like a clumsy ox and a bit more like, well, something. Not sure what.
- Afternoon: Excursion to a nearby waterfall. It was breathtaking. The water was cold and pure. I… I cried. Not even sure why. Release? Relief? Exhaustion? All of the above? I stood under the cascading water and let it wash away all the tension. Did a short meditation in front of the waterfall and realised that my emotional state is more than okay -- more than valid, actually.
- Evening: Dinner with Brenda. (We've become… friends?) She told me she's here because her marriage ended. She said she always thought yoga was a bit "woo-woo," but now she’s finding it… useful. "Sometimes," she said, "you just need to fall over and find your way back up. And maybe eat a protein bar." Suddenly, I saw her wit in a new light.
- Food Review: The food is acceptable. I still miss pizza.
Day 5: Almost Nirvana (and a Whole Lot of Sweat)
- Morning: The most intense yoga class yet. Sweat pouring off me. Muscles screaming (which I'm guessing is a good sign?). My inner critic, very much alive, telling me I’m not measuring up. I was a flailing, sweaty mess. And then… for a split second, I felt… something. A sense of ease? Of connection? Of… maybe not hating myself quite so much? It was fleeting, but… there.
- Afternoon: A workshop about mindfulness. I got distracted by the flies. Still, learned some things.
- Evening: Satsang. The chanting was overwhelming in that it felt like a spiritual assault. Then the feeling faded into a sense of peace. I still found myself drifting off. But then, after, I found myself wandering outside under the stars and I realized that I was actually… okay.
- Food Review: I am starting to crave the spices. My stomach might finally be getting used to things.
- Emotional Reaction: I'm not a good person when I'm tired. I can say that now. But, feeling like I might be okay.
Day 6 & Beyond: The Aftermath
- Morning: More yoga, more challenges, more growth. Still falling over at the most inopportune moments, and still wishing I had those yoga pants.
- Days: Continue to try and learn. Laugh, and find solace among nature.
- Food, Food, Food… I am going to learn how to cook Indian food and go vegan.
- Emotional Reaction: There's still a long journey ahead. I think I'll also be able to handle all trials to come, as I'm now a new person and I'll have to try to find my way home.
This is not a perfect retreat. This is not going to change you. This is my struggle. But I am here.
Luxury Spanish Escape: Nueva Alcazaba Hotel Apartment Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Shivoham Yoga Retreat, India - Your Transformative Journey Awaits (and OMG, Does it Ever!)
Wait, what *IS* Shivoham? Like, is it some cult? Are they going to make me wear a toga?
Okay, deep breath. No cult. No togas (thank the gods!). Shivoham is basically Sanskrit for "I am Shiva" (a major deity in Hinduism, representing destruction and creation…basically, the whole shebang). The retreat is a yoga and meditation focused experience, designed to help you disconnect and reconnect. Cult-like vibes? Absolutely not. Pressure to conform? Nah. I went in expecting some kind of…I don't know… group-think, but it’s actually quite individual. You’re encouraged to find *your* Shiva, wherever that happens reside.
Am I going to be eating only kale and chanting 'om' all day? Because, honestly, that sounds dreadful.
Alright, let’s address the elephant in the ashram. Look, there *is* a focus on healthy eating and chanting, but not in a rigid, soul-crushing way. The food is AMAZING. Seriously. Fresh, locally sourced, and mostly vegetarian (with some delicious fish options popping up now and then). Think vibrant curries, fluffy rice, and endless fruit platters. And yes, there's chanting. But it isn’t mandatory. Some people get *really* into it (like, eyes closed, swaying, full-on bliss mode). I, on the other hand, fumbled a bit, mumbled a few words and focused on not making a total fool of myself. You can participate as much or as little as you like. Nobody is going to judge you for preferring the quiet contemplation of your breakfast (or just plain not chanting).
Okay, the location sounds beautiful. But what's the deal with the actual yoga? I'm not exactly a pretzel.
The location *is* ridiculously beautiful. Like, seriously, Instagram-worthy at every turn. The yoga, though, is where it gets juicy (and sometimes, a little wobbly). The instructors are incredibly skilled and patient. They offer variations for all levels, from beginner-friendly to advanced contortionists. I went from thinking “Plank? Yeah, right” to “I can *almost* hold a downward dog for more than five seconds!”(Success!). But let me be honest. There were moments when I felt like a complete clutz. Trying to balance on one foot while contorting my body into some ridiculous pose... yeah, that didn't always go well. I fell. I wobbled. I sweated like I'd run a marathon... but I kept at it. And you know what? It felt damn good. It's not about being perfect; it's about the effort.
What about the accommodation? Is it luxurious or basic? And is there a mosquito net (because those things are vampires)?
The accommodation is a lovely blend of comfort and simplicity. Think clean, comfortable rooms, often with balconies overlooking the ocean or the lush gardens. They are not luxury hotels, but they are very well-maintained. And yes, there are mosquito nets! Thank the heavens! (My blood type apparently attracts every mosquito in a five-mile radius.) The point is, it's not a five-star resort, but it's a safe, clean, and comfortable place to collapse after a day of yoga and existential pondering. I remember one day, coming back to my room after a particularly intense meditation session and feeling…well, completely drained. I just burrowed under those mosquito nets and melted into a deep, satisfying sleep. Pure bliss.
Tell me more about the people! Are they all super-spiritual, perfectly enlightened beings? (Because if so, I'm out.)
Haha! Nope! The beauty of Shivoham is the diversity of the people you meet. You'll find a mix of ages, backgrounds, and levels of experience. Some are seasoned yogis, others are brand-new to the whole thing. Some are on a spiritual quest. Some are just looking for a break from their hectic lives. Some are running from something. Let's be real, aren't we all, a little? I met some truly amazing people. We shared stories, laughs, anxieties, and, of course, the inevitable struggles to hold those damn poses. I remember one particularly hilarious evening when we were all trying to meditate in silence, and someone's stomach rumbled so loudly it interrupted everyone's concentration. We ended up cracking up for a good ten minutes, which kinda defeated the purpose! But it was perfect. That shared humanity, that shared imperfection, that's what made the whole experience so special.
What's the *worst* bit? Don't sugarcoat it.
Okay, let's get real raw (like that radish I choked down at lunch). For me, the worst bit? The sheer *intensity* of it all, sometimes. There are days when you feel like you're on the verge of some earth-shattering enlightenment, and then there are days when you just want a freaking cheeseburger and a strong cocktail. You're bombarded with your own thoughts and feelings, with all the layers stripped away. It’s a lot. It can be exhausting. And there was one particular meditation session… ugh. I’m not going to lie, I was struggling. My mind was racing, I was itchy, and I was utterly, completely, and spectacularly bored. I think I might have spent half the time fantasising about chocolate cake. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the window, looking utterly miserable. And I, honestly, wanted to walk out. But I didn't. And that, I suppose, is part of the journey. Even the tough bits are worth it.
Is it *actually* transformative? Like, will I come back a whole new person? And will I be able to fit into my jeans again? (Okay, maybe I'm kidding about the jeans...)
Transformative? Yes and no. You won't magically become a serene, cucumber-cool, always-smelling-of-incense guru overnight. Life doesn't work that way. But will it *shift* something within you? Probably. You'll gain perspective. You'll learn to appreciate the simple things. You'll disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with yourself. You might even start feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Do I feel "changed"? Yes. But it was a slow burn, a gradual unwinding. I left feeling a little bit lighter. A little bit calmer. And, yes, my jeans *did* fit a little better. (Bonus!). But what's truly transformative is the space created for self-discovery, the permission to be imperfect, the chance to find that inner Shiva, even if he's a clumsy, cake-loving one like mine.
Anything else I should know? Like, practical tips? I'm terrible at packing!
