Pattaya Paradise Found: Your Dream Holiday Inn Getaway Awaits!
Pattaya Paradise Found: My Dream Holiday Inn Getaway… Maybe? (A Messy Review)
Okay, let's be real. I just got back from Pattaya, and it was… an experience. And before I launch into the glorious (and slightly chaotic) details of the Holiday Inn "Paradise Found" (their words, not mine… yet!), I gotta address the elephant in the digital room: SEO. Yeesh. All these keywords! Okay, deep breath. Here goes nothing…
This review is for anyone searching for Pattaya hotels, specifically a Holiday Inn in Pattaya, and potentially for a beach holiday, or a romantic getaway, or even just a place to survive a holiday with the family. I'm talking about the Pattaya Paradise Found, where promises of a perfect escape are abundant. Let's see if they deliver.
Accessibility: So, the nitty-gritty, right? How's this place for accessibility? I poked around, and here’s the deal. The website and the staff (super friendly, by the way!) said they cater to guests with disabilities. Wheelchair accessible rooms are available, which is a huge plus. They have elevator access, thank the heavens, because I'm not climbing 20 flights of stairs in this humidity. They also boast facilities for disabled guests, but the details on exactly what those facilities are, well, that's where it gets a little vague. It's definitely worth calling and clarifying your specific needs before you book. No surprises are good surprises in this instance, ya know?
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: This is kind of a big deal, especially for folks with mobility issues. From what I gathered (more on the slightly chaotic nature of my info-gathering later), there are on-site restaurants. The descriptions mentioned things like a buffet in restaurant and restaurants serving Asian cuisine and International cuisine. I'll get to the food in a minute (spoiler: it's a mixed bag, like my emotions!), but I didn't specifically check for wheelchair access in each restaurant. It's something to inquire about directly!
Internet, Internet, Internet! (And Free Wi-Fi – Thank Goodness!) Alright, let’s talk about the modern-day necessity: Internet access. They boast Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, and that's a win. I can't tell you the number of times a supposedly "luxury" hotel has nickel-and-dimed me on Wi-Fi. Not cool. They also have Internet access – LAN, which, if you're old-school and want a wired connection, that's cool, too. The coverage in the public areas, however, seemed a bit spotty at times. Could have just been me, though. I have been known to be a Wi-Fi hog.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (and the Spa That Almost Broke Me)
Okay, this is where things get… interesting. The brochure promised paradise. And, well, it delivered, in parts. Let's start with the good stuff: The swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous. Seriously. Pool with view? Check. It's a sprawling, inviting oasis, perfect for lazy days with a cocktail. They also have a fitness center and, yes, a gym/fitness area. I attempted to work out once, but the air conditioning was a bit… enthusiastic. (My workout quickly turned into a sweat-soaked, defeated surrender.)
Then there's the Spa. Ah, the spa. I booked myself in for a massage. Sounded idyllic, right? "Paradise Found," indeed! And at first, it was. The aromatherapy was divine. The masseuse was… well, let's just say she knew her stuff. But then… then she started on my back. And I have to admit, I am a wimp. Let's just say she unearthed muscles I didn't know existed. I mean, I gasped so audibly, she probably thought I was evacuating my lungs. I thought I was going to turn inside out. I'm not kidding! I was practically levitating off the table. I emerged, not relaxed, but feeling like I just survived a brutal workout. So, yeah, the spa… proceed with caution.
They have a sauna, steamroom, spa, spa/sauna, and a foot bath, too. Maybe next time, I'll try those!
Cleanliness and Safety (Because We're All Thinking About It)
This is a huge one, especially now. Did they deliver on the safety front? I'm going to tell the truth here, the pandemic has me paranoid, right?
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yes, they seemed to be on top of this. I saw staff constantly cleaning and sanitizing.
- Hand sanitizer: Available everywhere, which is a relief.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Hopeful that they're using the good stuff!
- Rooms sanitized between stays: I'll be honest, the room felt clean, but how can you really know?
- Safe dining setup: Yes, this was definitely a focus. Tables spaced out, staff wearing masks.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Seems like it, though, I didn't quiz them about their training extensively.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried, definitely.
There's also doctor/nurse on call, and a first aid kit. They also had smoke detectors, fire extinguisher and 24-hour security, which is reassuring.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Highs and the Lows)
Okay, the food. This is where things got wonderfully… messy.
- Restaurants: They have a few! With Asian cuisine and International cuisine options.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The buffet. Ah, the buffet. A glorious, carb-filled, chaotic experience. Asian breakfast options galore. Western breakfast, too. You can even get coffee/tea in restaurant.
- Room service [24-hour]: This saved me more than once. Especially after that… ahem… spa experience.
- Poolside bar: Yes! Perfect for enjoying happy hour!
- Snack bar: Great for quick bites.
- A la carte in restaurant: Available!!
- Salad in restaurant: Available for the health conscious.
The good: The cocktails at the poolside bar were strong, and the views were fantastic. The room service was efficient and the food was decent (nothing amazing, but it hit the spot). The bottle of water in the room was a welcome touch. They also had a coffee shop.
The not-so-good: The buffet, while extensive, could sometimes be a bit… hit or miss. The quality of the salad wasn't the greatest.
Services and Conveniences (Good and Just Okay)
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential!
- Cash withdrawal: Convenient.
- Concierge: Helpful. They can also provide invoice provided.
- Daily housekeeping: The room always felt clean, thanks to daily housekeeping service.
- Elevator: A lifesaver!
- Ironing service: Handy.
- Laundry service: Good to know!
- Luggage storage: Helpful.
- Safety deposit boxes: Peace of mind.
- Smoking area: They have it, for all you smokers out there.
- Terrace: Nice for a drink, or just to soak up the atmosphere.
I didn't use everything, obviously, but I'm trying to be thorough for YOU!
For the Kids (I don't have any, but I saw some!)
- Family/child friendly: Seemed like it!
- Babysitting service: Good to know!
- Kids meal: Possibly?
Getting Around (The Usual)
- Airport transfer: Available!
- Car park [free of charge]. Awesome!
- Taxi service: Available.
Available in All Rooms (The Little Things Matter!)
Okay, here's what you can expect in a standard room. I'm digging deep here, folks!
- Air conditioning: Duh!
- Alarm clock: Useful.
- Bathtub: I like me a good soak.
- Coffee/tea maker: Always appreciated.
- Free bottled water: Yay!
- Hair dryer: A must-have.
- In-room safe box: Smart.
- Mini bar: Empty in mine, but maybe I missed a full one.
- Satellite/cable channels: Fine, I guess.
- Shower: Clean.
- Wi-Fi [free]: The hero!
- Window that opens: Though mine didn't.
The Big Question: Would I Recommend It?
Look, the Holiday Inn Pattaya Paradise Found is not perfect. But is it good? Yes. Is
Escape to Paradise: Umvangazi Rest's Unforgettable South African Bush Retreat
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is my Holiday Inn Pattaya escape – a messy, glorious, probably-going-to-get-sunburned adventure. Here goes…
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Seafoam Debacle
14:00 - Arrival & Check-in: "Where's the freaking room?"
So, picture this. I've just wrestled my suitcase through Suvarnabhumi (which felt like scaling Everest in a floral shirt), survived a surprisingly pleasant taxi ride, and arrived at the Holiday Inn. Am I cool, calm, and collected? Absolutely not. I immediately morph into a flailing, sweaty octopus trying to manage my phone (for the all-important Instagram update, naturally), my passport, and a half-eaten bag of mango sticky rice I'd foolishly (and hungrily) bought at the airport. The receptionist, bless her heart, probably thinks I'm about to spontaneously combust. Finally, keys acquired! Room number? Who even cares, it's a room with aircon. I’m in.
15:00 - Room Exploration & Meltdown over the Mini-Bar:
Okay, room check! A decent ocean view, thankfully. Immediately I start picturing myself lounging with a cocktail in hand. (Important life goals, people.) First, the mini-bar. A treasure trove of overpriced temptations. I gaze. I contemplate. I…decide to avoid it entirely, because I'm not made of money. The "Do Not Disturb" sign is already up.
16:00 - Poolside Pandemonium and the Seafoam Incident:
Time to hit the pool. I’ve got this, I thought. I, an amateur sunbather, wearing a swimsuit I forgot to try on until this very moment. First, the struggle to find a decent lounger. Then, the sunscreen application, which, let's be honest, is more of an abstract interpretation of sun protection. And then…the seafoam. They had this crazy seafoam machine going, blasting bubbles everywhere! I swear, it was like a clown car had exploded. In the midst of the chaos, I may have tripped and inhaled more foam than water. The ensuing coughing fit was not a good look.
18:00 - "Dinner and Drinks" - AKA: Searching for Pad Thai and Finding Regret:
First stop. I envisioned a romantic sunset dinner, soft music, gentle waves… I ended up wandering the streets, desperately searching for authentic pad thai. Found a place, gave it a chance. It was okay. Honestly, I should have trusted my gut and gone for the fish and chips. The drinks? Let's just say I had too many "Mai Tais" and ended up chatting with a parrot outside. The parrot gave me some serious shade.
21:00 - Bedtime: the sound of the ocean mixed with air conditioning
Yes. A good night of sleep and a reminder that the beach will be there tomorrow.
Day 2: Beach Vibes and the "Accidental" Thai Massage
09:00 - Wake Up, Regret the Mai Tais:
Ugh. Sun? Check. Headache? Double-check. Need coffee, STAT.
10:00 - Beach Exploration & Sandcastle Catastrophes:
Okay, beach time! I tell myself this is a new day. The sun is actually beating down, waves rolling in. I decide to build a sandcastle. I'm pretty sure a toddler could build a more structurally sound castle. It collapsed after two minutes. I blame the sand.
12:00 - Padang Padang Beach & Trying to Look Cool:
I took a taxi. I walked. I attempted to channel my inner beach goddess, striking poses that probably made the locals giggle. Sun, surf, and the feeling of pure, unadulterated laziness.
15:00 - Thai Massage Mishap:
Okay, here’s where things get interesting. I decided a massage was in order. Went inside the spa, spoke nicely, and got a massage. I’m not one to normally book it, but it was amazing. A complete bliss. I felt like I could take over the world.
17:00 - Sunset Stroll & Failed Romance:
As the sun dips, I decide on a sunset stroll. Romantic. Perfect. Until I nearly trip over a stray coconut, then start laughing hysterically. I try to make eye contact with a cute guy. He looks at me with bewilderment. My charm is obviously working… Not.
20:00 - Dinner & "Actually Good Food" Discovery:
Found a local restaurant. They were delicious. It was so good I wanted to cry. Finally, a good meal.
Day 3: Farewell (and the inevitable souvenir shopping)
09:00 - A final swim? Yes!
I had another swim, even knowing I would need to check out in a few hours.
10:00 - Shopping for trinkets, T-shirts, and other things I don’t need
Souvenirs and shopping. I took my chances.
12:00 - Departure: "Until next time, Thailand!" (or maybe not, I can't afford another trip
Taxi, airport, and a promise to work hard and come back again.
Okay, so...Pattaya Paradise Found – is it *actually* paradise? (be honest!)
Look, let's be real. My expectations were set ridiculously high. "Paradise Found"? I was picturing fluffy clouds, endless smoothies, and maybe a helpful angel to smooth out my sunblock. And the truth? It's… complicated. It's not *perfect* paradise, but it's a darn good approximation, especially after a few too many Singha beers. The hotel itself? Gorgeous. The pool? Divine. The staff? Usually incredibly nice, unless you’re the guy who, like me, accidentally tripped and spilled a tray of cocktails everywhere on your first night. (Mortified. Absolutely mortified.) So, paradise *adjacent*? Definitely. Full-blown, faultless utopia? Nah. But still, seriously enjoyable most of the time.
The location – is it actually *in* the heart of things? Or am I going to be stuck in some remote jungle?
Okay, so location. Here's the deal: you're *close* to the action. Close enough that you can stumble out of a bar at 3 AM (hypothetically, of course... ahem) and still navigate your way back. Not too close, though. It’s not *right* in the middle of the chaos. Which is a *major* bonus if, like me, you appreciate a little peace and quiet when you’re trying to sleep off a pad thai coma. You're within a short tuk-tuk ride of everything - the beach, the markets, the… well, everything. Just be prepared to haggle, because those tuk-tuk drivers are sharks! And sometimes, that little "short ride" feels a lot longer after the aforementioned beers.
What about the rooms? Are they… clean? And are the beds comfy? Because I NEED a comfy bed.
Cleanliness is… subjective, right? Okay, kidding! The rooms were *remarkably* clean. And look, I’m a bit of a germaphobe (shhh, don’t tell anyone!), so that says a lot. The staff are constantly cleaning and tidying, and you can really tell. And the beds! Oh, the beds. Heavenly. Seriously, I could have stayed in that bed all day, ordering room service and watching bad movies. Which I *may* have done on a particularly rainy afternoon. (Don't judge me.) Seriously, though, the beds are a big win. You will sleep like a baby, or at least a baby who's had a few days of exploring the food scene and is happily exhausted.
The Pool. Tell me about the pool. I've seen pictures, but are they accurate? Is it crowded? Are there enough sun loungers?
The pool… Ah, the pool. The pictures don't lie. It's stunning. Seriously, the pool is the centerpiece, isn’t it? Lush greenery, crystal clear water… it's basically Instagram catnip. Now, the crowd thing? Yeah, it can get a little busy, especially during prime tanning hours. But, and it's a big but, I always managed to snag a sun lounger. You might have to deploy the "early bird gets the worm" strategy, which, if you're anything like me and enjoy your sleep, can be brutal. More than once I had to stumble out, bleary-eyed, at 7 AM, to claim my spot, only to fall back asleep on the lounger itself. Worth it, though. And the poolside bar? Essential. Because, you know, hydration.
Food! What's the food situation like? Is there a good breakfast buffet? Because I'm a *breakfast* person.
The food. Okay, so the breakfast buffet is… decent. Not the best I've ever had, but perfectly acceptable. There's the usual suspects: eggs (cooked to order!), bacon (crispy!), pastries (flaky!), fruit (loads of it!), and a whole host of things I couldn't identify. I did, however, discover a newfound love for the Thai omelets. Seriously, those things are AMAZING. Lunch and dinner? Well, the hotel restaurants are fine, but honestly, you're in Pattaya! Go explore. Street food is where it's at! Just… be careful. My stomach and I had a brief, but not very pleasant, disagreement over a particularly spicy noodle dish one evening. Lesson learned. Always carry Imodium.
What about activities? Is it just… sitting by the pool? I get bored REALLY easily.
Bored? In Pattaya? Never! Okay, maybe for about five minutes when you first arrive and haven't figured out what to do. The hotel itself has a gym (which I might have glanced at once), a spa (which I highly recommend!), and they organize tours and activities. But honestly, Pattaya is an activity itself. The beach is right there. Water sports galore. Markets to peruse. Temples to explore. The Walking Street (if you're feeling brave – or drunk). Nightlife. Shopping. Seriously, you'll be spoilt for choice. Just, be prepared to say "no" a lot to people trying to sell you… well, everything.
Okay, the spa... you said you recommend it? Tell me more!
Oh, the spa. Where do I even begin? After a particularly grueling day of, let's say, *exploring*, my shoulders were screaming. My feet were begging for mercy. And then… the spa. The aroma, the hushed tones, the gentle music… it was instant bliss. I opted for the traditional Thai massage. Now, I'm not going to lie, it's not exactly relaxing in the way you might think. At times I was convinced the masseuse was trying to rearrange my internal organs. But afterwards? Pure, unadulterated, glorious *ahhhhh*. I’m pretty sure I levitated back to my room. Best. Massage. EVER. Seriously, book a massage, and then book another one. And another one. You won't regret it. The only downside? The bill. But hey, you're on holiday! Treat yo' self!
Anything I should definitely avoid? Any red flags?
Okay, listen up. Pattaya's got a certain… reputation. Let’s just say it caters to a diverse range of interests. Walking Street can be a bit overwhelming. I'd definitely advise against wandering too far off the beaten path at night, *especially* if you've had a few drinks. Be aware of your surroundings – like, *actually* aware. Watch out for scams (they're everywhere). And for the love of all that is holy, bring mosquito repellent. Those little buggers are relentless. Other than that? Just use common sense, be respectful, and have fun! And remember that spicy noodle dish I keep mentioning? Yeah, maybe skip that one. Just a suggestion.
