Escape to Paradise: Hotel Mediterrani, Spain Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Mediterrani – Spain Awaits! (Or Does It…?) A Messy, Honest, and Mostly Glorious Review
Alright, buckle up, because this isn't your usual sterile hotel review. We're diving deep into the Hotel Mediterrani in Spain, and trust me, it's a rollercoaster. Let's just say, my expectations, my luggage, and my sanity all took a bit of a beating, but hey, that's the best part, right?
First, the Basics (and the Awkward Truths):
- Accessibility: Okay, let's be real for a moment. The website claims accessibility. And technically, they're probably correct. But listen, if you absolutely need a flawlessly accessible experience, maybe double-check, call the hotel directly, and ask for specifics. The elevators are there, and that's a start. They have facilities for disabled guests.
- Internet (Oh, the Internet!): FREE Wi-Fi in all rooms – yes please! Although, let's be honest, it wavered more than my resolve to resist the dessert buffet. Internet [LAN]: Now that's old school, and cool for the nostalgic. Internet services I hope your expecting to pay for those, but you'll find yourself in the world of slow internet in spain.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Covid Circus:
- Cleanliness and safety: They really go hard on this. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Individually-wrapped food options (mostly)? Check. It all felt… strenuous. Like, they’re trying, Bless their hearts.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Yes, supposedly. Did I feel like a germophobe? Maybe. Did I appreciate the effort? Absolutely.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Okay, the staff was kind and doing their very best. So I'll give them that.
Rooms: The Good, the Bad, and the "WHY Did I Pack This?"
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (thank GOD!), alarm clock (yay, I never use it), bathrobes (score!), coffee/tea maker (essential!), free bottled water (appreciated), hair dryer (duh), in-room safe box (always necessary, even if I forget the code), Wi-Fi [free] (see above), window that opens (glorious!).
- The Anecdote: Here’s a mini-rant . I got to a room with an interconnecting room with *interconnecting room(s) available *, and I was the only hotel guest. So guess what I did? I had the hotel move me immediatly.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Foodie's Journey (or Trial)
- Restaurants & Bars: The Mediterrani has a variety of restaurants, including A La carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, and a Vegetarian restaurant. There's a bar, a Poolside bar, and a Coffee shop.
- The Buffet Battleground: Okay, the breakfast buffet. Let's talk. If I could have just eaten a meal in the restaurants and bar and not the hotel. It's international cuisine, and if you think I did not try it, think again. Not as good as the Asian cuisine in the restaurant, and very average.
- Desserts: Alright, so I found a decent dessert.
- 24-hour Room Service: Yes, thank you, universe. Sometimes you just need that greasy burger at 3 AM.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax, and the Questionable Sauna:
- The Good Stuff: They’ve got a swimming pool (outdoor), pool with a view! A spa/sauna, a steamroom.
- Spa/Sauna: This should be relaxing, and it was, I'll give it that, but the sauna felt like a slightly damp closet sometimes.
- Fitness Center: I'm pretty sure the gym was the least used space in the entire hotel. Which, honestly, I get it. You're on vacation.
Service and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
- The Good: 24-hour front desk, laundry service, luggage storage, concierge. They've got your back, almost always.
- The Annoyances: I wanted to use the car park [free of charge], I also wanted to car power charging station. But the car park was as crowded as a Black Friday sale.
- Additional Conveniences of the Hotel: Air conditioning in public area, Cash withdrawal, Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Ironing service.
Getting Around: The Quest for Freedom
- Airport transfer: Yes, helpful.
- Car park: Good luck finding a spot.
- Taxi service: Available, but sometimes the wait feels excruciating.
For the Kids (And the "Kids at Heart"):
- Family-friendly: Mostly.
- Babysitting service: Available, if you dare.
My Final Verdict (and Why You Might Want to Book):
Okay, look. The Hotel Mediterrani is not perfect. It has its quirks, its foibles, its moments of “WTF is happening?” But, it also has its charm. It’s a solid choice for a vacation in Spain. The view from my room, when I got a good one, was breathtaking. Overall, the hotel is pretty safe.
My Highly Subjective, Emotion-Fueled Recommendation:
Book the Hotel Mediterrani if: You crave a slightly imperfect but generally pleasant experience. You love a good breakfast buffet (even if it's a little… meh). You appreciate a clean hotel with a strong emphasis on safety. YOU want to enjoy beautiful pools and relax.
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Mediterrani, Spain Awaits!
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Escape to Paradise: Luxury Awaits at Hotel Landhaus Zell am See
Hotel Mediterrani, Spain: My Brain on Vacation (aka, Itinerary? More like Intention-ary)
Okay, so here's the idea of a plan for this trip to Hotel Mediterrani in… well, Spain. Somewhere sunny, I think. I’ve booked it, packed (mostly), and now, if I can just wrestle my brain into cooperating, maybe I'll actually enjoy this thing. Let's see…
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Bag-Retrieval Debacle (and Pasta!)
- Morning (theoretically): Arrive Barcelona airport. Hah. Let's be real, it'll be a chaotic scramble. I’m that person, the one who probably holds up the baggage carousel with a panicked stare because they swear their suitcase was on the last flight.
- Actual Morning: Well, turns out my suitcase DID take a detour to… Ulan Bator? No, wait, somewhere equally obscure. Commence the paperwork, the panicked phone calls, the subtle (and not-so-subtle) passive-aggressive sighs at lost luggage. Ugh. This trip is already off to a stellar start.
- Midday (hopefully): Eventually (fingers crossed!), make it to the hotel. Hotel Mediterrani. Sounds fancy. Hopefully, the view from my room will quell the luggage-induced rage. Quick shower? A proper wash felt like a distant dream.
- Afternoon: Exploration! Or at least, a stumbling, jet-lagged attempt at it. Find the closest cafe. Must. Have. Coffee. And maybe something involving carbs. My stomach is currently staging a protest.
- Late Afternoon: Okay, so I found a cafe. Sadly the coffee was, well, meh. But! I spotted a little pasta place around the corner. Carbo load it is! I swear, that simple plate of pasta, with its garlicky sauce, was a little slice of heaven. Seriously, it was so good, I'd almost forgive the airline for losing my stuff. Almost.
- Evening: Bed. And maybe a quiet weep about my lost suitcase. Goodnight, world.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (or Attempted Bliss) and a Brush with Catalan Culture… and the Worst Ice Cream Ever
- Morning: SUNSHINE! Okay, I'm trying to be optimistic. Head to the beach. Actually feel the sand between my toes. (Which, let’s be honest, probably haven't seen the sun in months.) I'm picturing myself effortlessly bronzed, a vision of Mediterranean serenity.
- Morning (reality): Sunscreen application gone wrong. Sandy everything. Water is, surprisingly, cold. I'm not a bronzed goddess, but more of a lightly-fried, slightly-salty, human-sized shrimp.
- Midday: Wandering through the market. Gorgeous colors. SMELLS. Spanish ham is a real thing. And maybe… maybe I can finally find a good ice cream. After the atrocity I had yesterday.
- Mid-Afternoon: Lunch! Tapas! Tiny portions of deliciousness. I could get used to this. Trying to decipher the menu, pretending I know what I’m ordering. Probably failing. But who cares?! I’m eating miniature, tasty things!
- Late Afternoon: The Sagrada Familia. Holy Moly. Jaw. On. Floor. Seriously, I’m not even religious, but that building is just… whoa. The lines, though. The lines are a beast. My feet are aching. Worth it, though, absolutely worth it.
- Evening: Okay. Ice cream time. Found a cute little shop. The woman behind the counter has a knowing smile. This has to be it! That ice cream? The flavor was… I can't even describe it. Chemical. Artificial. It was like eating a frozen, vaguely-flavored cloud. I am now officially traumatized by Spanish Ice Cream.
- Evening (post-ice cream therapy): Wine. Lots of wine. Needed. End of story.
Day 3: The Single-Minded Obsession with Finding Good Ice Cream (and a Day Trip)
- Morning: I wake up with the single-minded purpose of redeeming Spanish ice cream. This is now my mission. This is my quest. It is, in fact, the driving force behind my entire vacation. I pour over reviews. I get up early and search every single shop. I am relentless!
- Mid-Morning: Okay, so I found a few places that looked promising. One had a long line. The other had a woman screaming at a child. I went for the third. It had… good ice cream. Not perfect. Not life-altering. Good. I ate it, alone, in the shade. And I felt… slightly less disappointed.
- Afternoon: Day trip! I'm thinking Girona. I've read about the medieval architecture. The bridges. The pretty, little streets. I am so excited!
- Mid-Afternoon: We took a wrong turn. We accidentally visited a pottery factory. We got lost!
- Late Afternoon: Finally, we found Girona. So beautiful. I can't stop taking pictures!
- Evening: Tapas again! And ice cream. We're getting the hang of this!
- Night: Back to the hotel, tired, happy, and plotting my next ice cream conquest.
- Night-night: I hope I'm still alive. I'm too deep in the ice cream search.
Day 4: The Art of Doing Nothing (and Remembering to Pack!)
- Morning: Sleep in! (Finally!). The joy of unstructured time. Read a book, sip bad coffee in a balcony. Just… be. This is what vacations are supposed to be like.
- Midday: Wandering. Maybe I'll visit that little park I saw. Maybe I'll just sit and stare at the ocean. Maybe I'll eat more tapas. The world is my oyster (served with a side of patatas bravas, naturally).
- Afternoon: The art museum. I have no idea what I'm seeing. I don't care. The building is pretty. The light is nice. I actually do feel a little bit cultured for a few hours.
- Evening: Pack. (Panic!) My suitcase still has not arrived. Which means I'm probably going home in the clothes I arrived in. Hmm, need to buy something. This is what I should've done.
- Night: Final meal! Maybe some paella. Some wine. And a silent, grateful toast to the fact that I made it through.
- Night-night: Goodbye, Spain. I'll be back… as soon as I recover from the ice cream.
Day 5: Departure (and the Hope that My Luggage Actually Does Exist)
- Morning: Airport. Again. Pray to the travel gods for an uneventful journey home. Pray for my suitcase.
- Departure - Reality: My suitcase is probably still in Ulan Bator. I'm wearing the same clothes I wore on the plane. I'm exhausted, sunburnt, and slightly hungover. But I'm also… happy.
- Final Thoughts: Spain, you were… an experience. The good, the bad, the horrifyingly-bad ice cream. Thank you for the sun, the food, the ridiculously beautiful buildings, and the unexpected lessons in patience. And, if anyone finds a lost, slightly battered, suitcase, please send it to… well, wherever I am. I'll need it.
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Mediterrani - Spain Awaits! ... Or Does It? Let's Find Out!
Okay, so... is this place *actually* paradise, or just fancy brochure talk?
Look, let's be real. Paradise is a high bar. The Hotel Mediterrani? Well, it *tries*. The brochure? Pure, unadulterated sunshine and happy-clappy people. My experience? More like... *slightly* sun-drenched people with some minor grumbles. I mean, the view? *Stunning*. The Mediterranean shimmering, the way the sun hits the cliffs... breath-taking. Honestly, that alone almost made me forgive the slightly dodgy coffee situation. Almost. It's not *perfect* paradise, but it’s definitely got some serious potential. They really need to upgrade that coffee. Seriously.
What's the food like? Because "Mediterranean cuisine" can mean *anything*.
Right, the food. Okay. So, the buffet. Let me tell you about the buffet. It's...extensive. Bordering on overwhelming. There were *so many* options. Pastries that looked like they'd seen better days – like, *way* better days. And the mysterious meat situation? Who knows. It was all a bit… unpredictable. But then! The paella! Oh. My. GOD. The paella was sublime. Seriously, the best paella I've ever had, and I judge paella *harshly*. I think they'd perfected it. I went back for seconds (and possibly thirds... don't judge). Just, maybe stick to the paella and fresh fruit, and you'll be alright. Don't be tempted by the beige stuff. You’ve been warned.
The beach! Is it actually, you know, swimmable and enjoyable? Or full of seaweed and screaming kids?
The beach! Okay, the beach. That's where the magic *mostly* happens. Golden sand, crystal-clear water (mostly), gentle waves. Yes, there were kids. Of course, there were kids. They’re everywhere. But the beach is big enough to find your own little patch of zen if you’re willing to walk a bit. Yes, there was a bit of seaweed on occasion, but the staff was pretty good about clearing it. One day, though, I swear, I saw a crab the size of a small dog attempting to steal a sandwich. True story. The water? Divine. Just…watch out for the crab. And the kids. But mostly, divine.
Any hidden costs or things the brochure conveniently leaves out? I hate surprises.
Oh, the hidden costs... that's a good one. Okay, so, the Wi-Fi. It's technically "free" but only in the lobby, which is always packed. For actual decent Wi-Fi in your room? Prepare to shell out. Drinks at the bar? Not cheap. The ice cream? Expensive. And the shops nearby? Forget about it. Tourist traps galore. Seriously. Everything is marked up. Bring your own snacks! Bring your own... everything, frankly. Oh, and the "free" sunbeds on the beach? Good luck getting one. You have to stake out your territory at dawn like a hawk. I am NOT a morning person. That was a struggle.
What about the rooms? Clean? Spacious? Do they have air conditioning that actually *works*?
The rooms… hmmm. Mine was… *adequate*. Clean, yes. Spacious… not particularly. Think functional, not luxurious. The air conditioning? Mostly worked. There were a few moments of panic when the temperature soared and the AC coughed and spluttered, threatening to break down entirely, but it generally pulled through. The balcony was a nice touch, though. A small, slightly rickety balcony. And I'm pretty sure the sea view from it was mostly blocked by a palm tree. But still…the little balcony… I liked it. Made up for the less-than-stellar decor inside. You're not going to be overly impressed, but you will survive.
Tell me about the staff. Friendly? Helpful? Or perpetually stressed and wanting to flee to a desert island?
The staff…oh, bless them. They were generally lovely. Stressed, yes, but lovely. They're clearly run off their feet. The woman at reception was always smiling, even when dealing with the most ridiculous complaints (I overheard one about the lack of "gold-plated cutlery" - genuinely!). The waiters were attentive, even when you could tell they were juggling a million things. They tried, they really did. I felt a little guilty, tbh. They deserve medals. And a week off. And maybe a raise. Because they are working their butts off.
Is it good for families? I've got a gaggle of goblins to entertain.
Families? Oh, it’s *made* for families. Kids' club, splash pool, and enough sugar-laden treats to make any parent weep (with both joy and horror). There were kids everywhere, like I said. Everywhere. If you're a parent, you'll probably love it, because your goblins will be… distracted. If you’re not a parent... well, bring earplugs. And maybe a really good book. And a strong drink. Look, it’s a busy place. It’s chaotic. But the kids… they seemed happy. Which is the main thing, right?
Seriously, is there *anything* bad? Because I'm not buying the perfection.
Okay, let's be honest. The bad stuff. The aforementioned coffee situation. The slightly dated décor of the rooms. The somewhat aggressive seagulls that seemed intent on stealing my breakfast pastries (I swear that one had a plan). The occasional power outage. The fact that the "gym" consisted of two treadmills and a rowing machine that looked like it had been rescued from a skip. And the sheer number of people. Sometimes, I just wanted a quiet moment to myself. And it was hard to find. The noise levels. The constant hustle and bustle. The relentless activity. But, you know… it’s the nature of the beast, I guess. It's a popular place.
