Escape to Finnish Paradise: Hotel Lasaretti Awaits!
Escape to Finnish Paradise: Hotel Lasaretti Awaits! (My Honest Take)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a trip to Hotel Lasaretti in Oulu, Finland, and I'm still trying to unpack the emotional baggage (and the actual suitcase, let’s be real). This isn't going to be your typical cookie-cutter review. This is a raw, unfiltered, and hopefully hilariously imperfect account of my stay. Let the Finnish sauna-induced rambles begin!
First Impressions (and That Awkward Elevator Ride)
So, you arrive. The exterior? Pretty darn sleek. Modern, clean lines, overlooking the Oulu River. Makes you feel like you've stumbled into a Nordic design magazine, but maybe one with a slightly quirky sense of humor. Accessibility seemed pretty spot-on from what I could see. Elevator, check. Facilities for disabled guests, I'm guessing they’re there and available, though I didn’t need them myself.
The first thing that struck me, though? The elevator. Not in a good way. It's… slow. Like, glacial-age slow. I’m pretty sure I aged a year waiting for it to get to my floor. A small detail, yes, but it set the tone for a few little frustrations to come. #FirstWorldProblems, I know.
Rooms: Hygge Heaven (with a Side of "Where's the Remote?")
Alright, let's talk about the rooms. Gorgeous. Genuinely gorgeous. The non-smoking rooms are a must, obviously. Air conditioning to combat… well, not exactly the Finnish summer heat wave, but the occasional stuffiness. The blackout curtains are GODSENDS. Seriously, those midnight suns can be a real mood killer when you're trying to sleep. I loved the soundproofing too – I might have, ahem, enjoyed my Finnish snaps a bit too heartily one night, and the silence was appreciated.
Available in all rooms: You got it. Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes (YES!), Bathroom phone (who even uses those anymore?), Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed (a godsend for us giants!), Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor (my preference!), In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers (luxurious!), Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. Everything you could possibly need and more.
My one little gripe? The TV remote. It was a labyrinthine beast of buttons and menus. Seriously, I spent a good fifteen minutes just trying to find the Finnish equivalent of "Netflix." I'm pretty sure I accidentally ordered a pay-per-view documentary on reindeer farming in the process. (It was fascinating, though.)
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitized and Sensible (with a Tiny Bit of Doubt)
Okay, let’s get serious. The pandemic has changed everything. And Hotel Lasaretti takes it seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment. You feel safe and sound in a place that takes care of you.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food, Glorious Food… and a Hilarious Breakfast Incident
Ah, the food. This is where things got interesting.
- Restaurants (Multiple!): There are a few on-site, including some that offer International and Western cuisine in restaurant.
- A la carte in restaurant: Available!
- Breakfast [buffet]: The piece de resistance, or so I thought.
- Breakfast service: Yep. Served!
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Essential.
- Desserts in restaurant: Oh, yes.
- Poolside bar: Excellent for some drinks!
- Room service [24-hour]: Always a plus!
- Snack bar: Handy for nibbles.
- Vegetarian restaurant: They got that!
- Western cuisine in restaurant: It's there!
Let me tell you about breakfast. It was supposed to be a majestic buffet. And it was majestic. Smoked salmon, fresh berries, pastries that practically sang to me… It was heaven. Until, I somehow managed to spill a gigantic mug of coffee all over myself, a poor elderly gentleman, and (I swear to God) a small, unsuspecting potted plant. Mortified. Absolutely mortified. The staff, bless their hearts, were incredibly understanding. They even got me a new coffee (in a to-go cup, because I clearly wasn’t allowed near the buffet anymore). It was a moment… a messy, caffeinated, embarrassing moment that I'll never forget.
Ways to Relax: Sauna, Spa, and the Pursuit of Chill
This is where Hotel Lasaretti truly shines. Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor].
The sauna. Oh, the Finnish sauna! I am a convert. The heat, the silence, the post-sauna plunge into the (surprisingly chilly) pool… It was pure bliss. I definitely spent a solid chunk of my trip alternating between the sauna and the pool.
The Spa was also fantastic. I got a massage, which was the perfect antidote to all that international travel (and coffee spills). The pool with view was a major selling point too, and there's access to the facilities for disabled guests, so everyone can have a great time.
Internet: The Digital Deluge (and the Joy of Free Wi-Fi)
Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Wi-Fi in public areas, Internet services. Yes! You're connected. You're always connected. You can get on the Internet. Wifi is available!
Listen, in this day and age, free Wi-Fi is basically a human right. Hotel Lasaretti delivers. Wi-Fi was readily available and functional, which is a win in my book. Internet [LAN] was there if you needed a hardwire connection.
Things to Do: Beyond the Sauna (If You Dare)
Okay, so I spent a lot of time in the sauna. But, if you're feeling adventurous, there's more to do!
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal, Babysitting service: Good for the kids!
- Bicycle parking: A good way to get around!
- Casino: A plus!
Oulu itself is a charming city, and the hotel is well-situated for exploring.
Services and Conveniences: Everything You Need (and a Few You Didn't Know You Wanted)
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center.
The hotel offers a ton of amenities. The concierge was super helpful with recommendations. The daily housekeeping kept things spotless. The dry cleaning was a lifesaver after the aforementioned coffee incident. There's even a convenience store for those late-night snack cravings.
Getting Around: Smooth Transitions (Mostly)
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking.
The airport transfer was efficient. Free car park is a plus.
For the Kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal.
Overall: Would I Go Back? (Absolutely, and Maybe I'll Get the Hang of Buffets This Time)
Hotel Lasaretti is a fantastic hotel. It's stylish, comfortable, and has everything you need for a relaxing getaway (minus, perhaps, a foolproof coffee consumption strategy).
Switzerland's Hidden Gem: Unbelievable Hotel Landhaus Awaits!Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the wonderfully chaotic world of my trip to Hotel Lasaretti in Oulu, Finland. Forget those perfectly polished itineraries, this is the real deal. Expect typos, tangents, and maybe a few tears (of laughter, hopefully).
Day 1: Arrival of the Discombobulated and the Search for the Sauna (and Sanity)
Morning (or What Passed For It After 2 Red-Eye Flights): Landed in Oulu. "Winter is Coming" started playing in my head. I kid you not, the airport felt like the set of a Scandinavian thriller. Luggage, thankfully, arrived with me, unlike the last time I flew. Taxi ride to Hotel Lasaretti - a converted hospital, which is… unique. The driver, a stoic Finn, barely cracked a smile, but the scenery was gorgeous. Like, truly jaw-dropping in a "wow, nature is showing off" kind of way.
Afternoon: Hotel Check-In, Panic Mode Activated: Got to the hotel. The lobby… massive! And eerily quiet. Beautiful, but a little intimidating. Check-in was a blur of polite Finnish phrases I vaguely understood. My room… a former patient's room, probably. Charming, in a slightly unsettling way. First order of business: find the sauna. This is essential to my survival. I'd heard about the legendary Finnish sauna experience, and I was counting on it to thaw my icy travel-weary soul.
- Rambling Aside: The search for the sauna was the first test. I swear, that hotel had hallways that seemed to shift and change. Every door looked the same. I asked a cleaning lady, who looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, I stumbled upon it. Victory! Or so I thought…
Evening: Sauna Showdown & Culinary Confusion: The sauna was… hot. Like, really, really hot. I did my best to be a good sport. I tried the traditional löyly (throwing water on the hot stones), but I think I nearly passed out from the heat and the general disorientation. The other sauna-goers, all composed Finns, looked utterly unfazed, while I looked like a lobster in a sweat lodge. I retreated. Defeated, but still smelling faintly of eucalyptus. Dinner at the hotel restaurant. The menu… Finnish cuisine. I ordered something I couldn't even pronounce, and it turned out to be… fish. Lots of fish. Delicious fish, honestly. The rye bread was divine. The overall experience, however, highlighted my severe lack of Finnish food knowledge. My palate is now officially educated.
Day 2: Oulu's Charms and a Deep Dive into… The Market Square?
Morning: A Stroll Through the City (with Very Cold Fingers): Breakfast at the hotel was a buffet dream. So many choices, all beautifully presented. I overate, of course, because that's what I do. Feeling stuffed and ready for adventure (and desperately needing to burn off those calories), I ventured out to explore Oulu. The architecture is a blend of old and new, and the city felt refreshingly clean. I swear, even the air felt clean!
Afternoon: The Market Square Odyssey - Where I Embrace the Chaos
- The Oulu Market Square… Wow. It's not just a market square, it's a lifestyle. And it's all I could have dreamed of and MORE. I got there and was immediately overwhelmed. Fish stalls overflowing with silvery catch, vendors hawking everything from reindeer skins (tempted!) to knit caps (needed!). I witnessed a heated argument over a particularly large salmon (in Finnish, obviously. I only understood the ferocity of the hand gestures). Sat by the river. It was magical because it was so simple.
- Rambling Aside: I tried to buy a souvenir. A little wooden troll. I was certain this troll was the one. I haggled (badly) with the vendor, who simply raised an eyebrow. I ended up paying way too much, but I got my troll, and that's all that mattered. The troll now sits on my bedside table, judging my every move. I love it.
Evening: Return to Comfort & Unexpected Midnight Dip
- Back at the hotel. I spent a good hour re-reading some of the brochures about the hotel. Spent even longer trying to find a restaurant that wasn't too pretentious. Found a place that was delicious. But something was missing. That Finnish sauna was calling my name again. But this time I had a secret weapon. A bottle of ice water and a towel. And a friend who convinced me to make a late night dip, just for the heck of it. I'll skip over the details, but let's just say it involved a lot of giggling and a seriously invigorating plunge into the crisp, fresh air.
Day 3: Adieu, Lasaretti, Adieu, Oulu, and Hello, Reality!
Morning: Farewell, Feast & Packing Panic: Final breakfast, filled with more guilt-free eating. I'm planning to work out a lot, I swear. The buffet was an absolute masterpiece. Packed my luggage and checked out of the hotel. My head wasn't quite clear. It's an odd feeling, but no worries! Just the beginning of an amazing journey.
Afternoon: Airport & Departure: The airport was surprisingly chaotic. The security line was long, and I nearly missed my flight. But I made it! Said a fond farewell to the magical world of Hotel Lasaretti and the strange and wonderful city of Oulu.
Evening: Landing and the Aftermath: Back home. My brain is still replaying the trip on loop. The icy air, the delicious fish, the sauna, the troll. It was the trip of a lifetime, even with all the chaos and the slightly-too-hot saunas. I'm already planning my return. Seriously, booking the next ticket as we speak. And this time, I'm mastering the Finnish language. (Probably not. But a girl can dream.)
Escape to Finnish Paradise: Hotel Lasaretti - Let's Get Real, Folks!
Okay, so, Lasaretti... is it REALLY paradise? Because, you know, marketing. 🤔
Alright, alright, let's cut the fluff. Paradise? Well... it depends. It's Finnish paradise, which means it's *probably* not going to be all palm trees and fruity cocktails (though, they DO have rather nice mocktails!). It's more about clean air, stunning lake views that'll make you want to weep (in a good way, mostly), and that deep, soul-soothing silence that city dwellers dream about. I'm not gonna lie, when I first saw the photos, I thought, "Yeah, yeah, same old story." But then I arrived... and well, the *smell* of the pine trees, the way the sunlight hit the water... Okay, maybe it's actually *kinda* paradise. But with less… you know… beaches.
The rooms... are they actually charming, or just… dated? Asking for a friend (it's me, I'm the friend).
Okay, *this*. The rooms... Look, they're not the sleekest, trendiest things you've ever seen. Don't expect minimalist chic. Some of them felt a *little* like stepping back in time – in a good way, mostly. My room had this ridiculously comfortable armchair that I practically lived in. The carpet? Perhaps a *tad* older than I am. But you know what? It was CLEAN. And the beds were heavenly. Seriously, I'm a notoriously bad sleeper, and I slept like a log! And the view? Oh my GOD, the view! Waking up to that lake every morning… Forget the dated carpet, I'd happily trade a designer room for that view any day. (Just maybe bring some slippers. The floors can get a little chilly.)
What about the service? Finns are… famously reserved. Are they friendly? Will they *actually* help you?
Okay, this is where you gotta manage your expectations. Finns are not exactly the hyper-enthusiastic, effusive types. They're more… stoic. But don't let that fool you! They're incredibly polite, efficient, and genuinely helpful. I had a minor issue with the shower drain (totally my fault, I admit, probably left my hair in there…), and they fixed it within minutes. They also give you space. Which, honestly, can be a *blessing*. Nobody's overly chatty, nobody's hovering. It's a peaceful, respectful kind of service. And I actually quite liked it. It felt… genuine. No forced smiles, just competent professionals doing a good job.
The food! What’s the deal with Finnish cuisine? Is it just… fish? And potatoes? And more fish?
Alright, let's talk grub. Finnish food… it's… *interesting*. Yes, there's fish. Lots of fish. Smoked salmon, whitefish, you name it. And potatoes? Yep, they're there. (But, hey, potatoes are DELICIOUS!). The restaurant at Lasaretti was a real highlight. Breakfast was a spread of wonders, from classic Finnish rye bread (which I became addicted to) to fresh berries and cheeses. The dinner? The chef actually made me try reindeer! I was slightly squeamish beforehand (poor Rudolph!) but it was fantastic . And the *lingonberry* jam… Oh my GOD, the lingonberry jam. I nearly licked the plate clean. Seriously, go for the lingonberry jam. Also, you need to be prepared for a good portion size, I came back home weighing 2 kgs more.
The Saunas! Is the sauna experience like… a *thing* there? Should I be worried about being naked with strangers?
The sauna experience... Okay, listen up. *This* is big. It's like, practically a national religion in Finland. And yes, it's a *thing* at Lasaretti, too. They have a couple of saunas, one of them down by the lake. And yes, people are typically naked. (Unless you go to the co-ed sauna, where they wear towels). Now, I'm not gonna lie. First time? Slightly mortifying... especially as a foreigner, let alone having to reveal your pale, winter-worn skin to the public. I was awkwardly hovering, trying to figure out the etiquette. But then… you just embrace it. You sweat. You relax. You (probably) don't look at anyone. And you jump in that icy cold lake afterward. (Which is an experience in itself, let me tell you!) After my initial shyness wore down, I was jumping out, soaking in the lake, and heading back to the sauna. It was the most cathartic experience I’ve probably had in my life and it gave me a new-found respect for the Finnish culture. Embrace the nakedness, embrace the heat, embrace the cold plunge. It's worth it! Trust me. Don’t overthink it.. just… go.
What's there to *do* besides… sauna and admire the scenery? I get bored easily.
Okay, let's be honest. If you're the kind of person who needs constant stimulation, this might not be the place for you. BUT! There's a surprising amount to do. You can rent bikes and explore the area (which is beautiful, even if you're not a hardcore cyclist like me). There are walking trails. They offer boat trips during the summer months (which, apparently, are magical because of those midnight suns). There's also the town of Oulu nearby (which I didn't explore – I was too busy wallowing in my own personal bliss at the hotel, I'll admit it!). But mostly... it's about *being*. Relaxing. Reading a book. Staring at the lake. Finding that inner peace. And if you can't do that… well, bring a good book and prepare to do a lot of staring at the lake, it's still worth it.
Did you *really* enjoy it? Be brutally honest! Would you go back?
Brutally honest? Damn right, I enjoyed it! Even though it was initially a bit overwhelming. The first day I went in and felt uncomfortable. But after that it was great! Yes, the rooms aren’t perfect, and yes, the service is understated. But the whole experience… the location, the peace, the sauna… it was genuinely restorative. It's not a flashy, glamorous destination. But it's real. It's authentic. And yes, I would absolutely go back. In fact, I'm already planning my return. (Just gotta save up for that lingonberry jam addiction.) So, if you're lookingEscape to Paradise: Luxury Awaits at Hotel Landhaus Zell am See
